To Me
by RockyD
Summary: A different path for the 6th season. A Rewrite, with spoilers. B/X
1. To Me

Untitled Document

"To Me"

  
Author: RockyD  
Spoilers: If you haven't seen the Season 6 Premiere, you probably shouldn't read this.  
Summary: Someone else goes to see Buffy at the top of the tower in the season premiere.  
Author's Note: Something I wrote over the course of an hour or two after the premiere. In no way *accurate* since I didn't tape and I'm working from memory. Just an idea that occured to me about what could have happened.  
Feedback: Would be appreciated muchly. 

Xander narrowly got the trash-can lid up in time. The claws of the demon were mere inches away from shish-kabobing his face. It was ripped from his hands just as quickly. He creature swung with its other, unclawed hand, catching him in the temple. He slumped, disoriented.  
  
That was when Anya brought the pipe down on the demon's back. Distracting him from his goal of shredding Xander to pieces. The demon turned around slowly, and looked more annoyed than hurt by the attack. Willow and Tara joined in on the pipe assault, causing the creature to bring his arms up to defend himself. It was all for naught, with a swipe of his hands he knocked Willow and Tara off into the alleyway.  
  
It looked at Anya, who was still beating on him, with increasing annoyance. It grabbed her suddenly by the throat, and lifted her up. He grimaced at her, showing his distaste for her interference. He was preparing to slice her head off with his claws, when he let out a pained wail, and dropped her onto a pile of junk.  
  
He pitched forward, revealing an axe buried deep in his back. As he fell to the ground an angry-looking Xander, with a small cut in his forhead, stood behind him, "I can't explain how much I don't appreciate people trying to kill me all the time."  
  
He went to Anya, checking on her. She nodded that she was alright, and they both looked to the other side of the alley, "Wills, you okay?"  
  
"Yeah... just a little shaken... and bruised... and light-headed." She paused, "Can I retract my 'Yeah'?" She looked over and saw Tara making her way over on hands and knees. It appeared they survived.  
  
Xander focused himself on Anya, giving her a determined look, "Ahn, are you sure you're okay?"  
  
She nodded emphatically, "Yes, I'm quite sure. All my parts are in the right place. Why?"  
  
He helped her to her feet, "Go with Willow and Tara back to the Magic Box, make sure everything is okay."  
  
Willow looked at her questioningly, "What are you going to do?"  
  
Xander put on his own version of the 'resolve face' and stated confidently, "I'm going after Buffy. You guys just go there and hold up. I'll bring her there when I find her."  
  
Anya was about to protest, but Willow pulled on her arm. She knew there was no stopping the resolve face, if her success with it was any indication. Besides, she didn't want Anya to have to find out just why Xander is so deterimined about finding her. She was, however, not going to let him get away easy, "Xander." He looked her, "Be careful."  
  
He saw how she motioned with her eyes behind him. A quick glance told him what she was alluding to. A hard pull dislodged the axe from the demon's back, and he quickly proceeded out of the alley in the direction Buffy had gone.

*CUT TO: Ressurected Buffy is standing on the edge of the platform from the end of "The Gift" looking a painful kind of wistful at the spot below where she had fallen an unfathomable time before.*

She repeatedly gazed over the edge of the platform, as if the view would change between looks. She herself was not quite fully aware of why she was doing it. Her mind kept replaying her final moments over and over again. Like a broken record she secretly wished would stop playing.  
  
She squatted down, finally coming to a seated position. Her record finally started sending audio to her. She spoke the words as she said them, as well as when Dawn said them. "Dawnie, I have to."  
  
"No!" Dawn spoke through her mind, as well as through her voice.  
  
"Listen to me. Please, there's not a lot of time, listen." The memories faded back into her head, and her voice grew quiet. She cautioned a glance at the ground once more. Still no change. She seemed to be expecting the portal to open up again and swallow her all over again.  
  
It was then that the thought crossed her mind. 'Is this it? Is this what my existence is reduced to? I have to live this moment over and over again?' Her eyes remained fixated on where she somehow knew she landed. 'It would be so easy.'  
  
She slowly crawled back to her feet. She let her toes hang over the edge, just enough to prove there was nothing behind it. No invisible platform to catch her fall if she went through with her dark thoughts. It would be so easy. An echo bouncing off the walls of her mind.  
  
It was then that a movement in the platform behind her caught her attention. She didn't bother turning around. Whatever it was couldn't be as important as this.  
  
Xander stood there, watching her in fear. She was so terribly close to the edge, she had to be careful. But he didn't dare take a step forward. He remained on the makeshift landing, watching with wide eyes.  
  
"Is this hell?" She broke the silence with a hoarse quiery.  
  
He could hardly hear it, and wished he hadn't. The only reply he was able to manage at the time was, "What?"  
  
Buffy turned around slowly, her much longer hair whipping around in a graceful ark. She looked at him, her eyes unbelievably soft, and she stated loudly enough for the statement to be clear this time, "Is this *hell*?"  
  
"Buffy? Is this... No!" He shouted loudly, making her flinch. He immediately lowered his voice, "How could you possibly think that? You're home."  
  
She didn't look convinced, "I *died.* I remember it. I went over the edge of *this* platform, and I died. This has to be some sort of hell... things aren't perfect like they should be in heaven. So this must. be. hell." He opened his mouth to protest, but she continued, "There are still demons. I had to kill things. If this isn't hell, then I don't want to know what it is."  
  
Xander stepped slighty forward, making Buffy retreat towards the edge. He immediately stopped, and expressed his confusion, "Buffy, you're home. We brought you back. Willow used her magic and we all... we worked together on it..." He couldn't help but start crying a little. The memory of the last three months tore him apart. He finally felt, since he didn't need to keep up the brave front for anyone, that it'd be alright to let it go.  
  
She blinked her eyes furiously, trying to hold back her own tears, "Xander, why... why did you do it? I'm... I'm not worth the trouble."  
  
He was quietly furious, but not for long, "Not worth it? Buffy, there is nothing in this world more worth bringing you back."  
  
She still didn't look convinced. Suddenly, the structure they were standing on made an audible groaning noise. He looked worried, "Buffy, the guys that built this place weren't exactly architects of the highest degree... the superstructure is coming apart... we have to get down from here!"  
  
She stood her ground, as the platform wobbled. The look of determination on her face never left, as she asked above the noise, "Why am I worth it?"  
  
"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" She shook her head. He sighed, and knew this would come back to haunt him. He had to, though, for Buffy's sake. He looked at her seriously, "Buffy, you're worth bringing back. You're worth risking my... our lives. Because I love you." He hastily, but unnecessarily added on, "I'm not even sure what that means anymore... but it's the truth. The world needs you. We need you. ...I need you."  
  
The building shook, sending Xander sprawling onto the grated floor, nearly falling off the edge of the landing. Buffy sprung into action, screaming, "Xander!" As she dove to catch his hand as part of the landing broke free. He dangled from the edge by his arm, as Buffy held on with all her Slayer strength.  
  
He looked down briefly, before shooting his eyes upward to meet hers, "I don't suppose now is a good time to tell you I was kind of opposed to the whole ressurecting you thing, is it?" She hauled him upwards, taking a small moment to search his eyes for the truth. She got up quickly and didn't reply to his ill-timed joke as she pulled him along for the stairs. He regained his bearings and stopped being pulled along so they could make better time.  
  
The top of the tower buckled and collapsed, pieces of it raining down around them. Buffy saw a pulley dangling nearby. Without a word, she grabbed Xander by the waist and made a leap for it. To her dismay, it was momentarily jammed. As more of the tower fell apart, the motion combined with thier weight, broke the pulley free and sent them hurtling towards the ground, far too fast.  
  
Seeing as they were about to collide with the concrete, Buffy looked for something to break their fall. Upon seeing it, she yelled, "Xander, swing with me!"  
  
He was confused, but upon seing she was looking, immediately used their combined weight to swing their fall in a particular direction. Unexpectedly, the pulley jammed again, slowing their fall considerably, before completey breaking loose as the tower continued crumbling. Their fall ended abruptly as they crash landed in a large stack of palletes.  
  
A cloud of smoke and splinters arose around them, and the quickly attempted to recover. Xander took one look at how they landed, "God, Buffy, I have to stop finding you like this..." He picked her up, favoring his ribs from the landing, and they continued running out of the lot as the tower finally totally disintegrated. They crouched behind the sheet metal fence, protecting each other with their arms, until the rumbling had ceased.  
  
They cautiously got up and went to observe the damage. The rubble was awe-inspiring. A chapter of their lives they'd rather forget, had just toppled in on itself. Xander let out a heavy sigh, and put his arm around Buffy to steer her towards the Magic Box.  
  
He coughed a little as he spoke up, "I ran into Dawn on the way here... I figured it might not be good if she ran into you... the ressurected you... here. I told her and everybody else to meet us at the Magic Box. That's where we're gonna go now."  
  
She nodded mutely as he led her along. In her mind, she was processing what he'd said to her at the top of the tower. She decided then and there that she wasn't going to treat Xander Harris the same way, ever again. He deserved to be recognized for his loyalty, and for his love.


	2. Best Laid Plans

Untitled Document

"Best Laid Plans"  
Sequel to To Me 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; & Afterlife

Summary: A continuation of "To Me" The fallout when they return to the Magic Box. Will Buffy blab what Xander said to her at the tower, or will she keep it her little secret?

Author's Note: Just following up my post-premiere fic. This'll take place between the premiere and the next episode (I believe it's billed as 'Afterlife' on the Buffy site).

Dedication: This is partially to Calen, and the review I got for "To Me" And answer to the question, of sorts. Besides that, it's to all my fellow B/Xers out there who've been going through rough times in the faith lately.

*FADE TO: The walk from the site where the tower stood to the Magic Box.*

Silence reigned supreme during their walk. Only the sound of crackling fires and the occasional stray voice pierced the night. He was unsettled being outside tonight, as with many other nights since Buffy had... well, it's past tense now, isn't it? He could still barely form the word in his head, but it wasn't as if it mattered anymore. Buffy was back in Sunnydale, if slightly off her game.  
  
He was driven to the uncomfortable silence by his own words. He couldn't believe what he'd admitted straight to the source. Loving Buffy had been the furthest thing from his mind lately. Well, that wasn't the complete truth, but he felt almost certain that his time of pining after her was over. He had Anya now, and they were engaged. He winced involuntarily at that. He was going to have to tell everyone sooner or later. Now, though, he was hoping for later. How would Buffy react to the news? Would she even react?  
  
It was then that he noticed Buffy was just as silent as he was, though she didn't seem half as uncomfortable as he did. It warmed his heart to see a little of the innocent returned in her eyes. She had, in effect, been given a new lease on life. It seemed logical with her 'rebirth' that she'd lose a little bit of the baggage she'd been carrying around. The kind one never tries too hard to claim. Let someone overseas have it.  
  
She looked as beautiful as ever, which reminded him just how head over heels he still was with her. He had tried not to show it, and almost fooled himself along with everyone else in thinking he was truly over her. But seeing her like this, alive again and full of wonder, had brought it all rushing back. Not surprisingly, thoughts of Anya were lost until they turned the corner and the Magic Box came into view.  
  
He had to tell her. The part of him that could never say no to her, could also not deny her this bit of information. It would be easier saying it to her alone, than with everyone else there. Suddenly, with the voice of a nervous teenager, he spoke, "B-Buffy?" She kept walking, but looked at him, waiting for him to say whatever it was. It didn't make it any easier for him, "Buffy... Anya and I... we're engaged."  
  
She stopped in place, looking at him questioningly, "Y-you... but?" She glanced back the way they came.  
  
He had stopped and turned around when she looked back, his eyes following hers, "I know, Buffy. I wasn't sure how to tell you. What I said up there was the truth." He stepped back towards her and hoped his eyes would tell the tale, "And it complicates things, but I'm still engaged to her. I made a promise to her, and I intend to keep it. It's the kind of guy I am."  
  
She seemed lost again, "Why, if you don't love her..."  
  
He glared a little, "I didn't say that. I love her very much. It's never compared to you, though, but you weren't available at any of the times I wanted you. I've got a good thing with Anya, and I don't intend on making the same mistake twice."  
  
It took her a moment to catch his meaning, but the memory of the clothes fluke with Willow came rushing back to her. She sighed loudly, and couldn't help but notice the worry and concern on his face as she did so. "How long?"  
  
He caught her meaning almost immediately, "Since before we went to fight Glory. When we were rummaging around for the Dagon Sphere in the basement."  
She smiled ruefully, "When you went to have sex." He blushed furiously.  
  
He took a few more steps towards the Magic Box before stopping again, "Even if Anya wasn't an issue, I wouldn't be with you... not right now."  
She was again confused, "Why not?"  
  
He didn't look at her, simply expressed his thought through word, "You're not exactly yourself right now, Buffy. You're still all jumbled up in your head from this whole ordeal. I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you... that you'd want nothing to do with me when you got back to being yourself." She was about to say something else to him, when he gestured for her to follow, "We should hurry up. They're probably worrying about us at the shop. We shouldn't keep them waiting."

*CUT TO: The Magic Box. Anya is pacing around, while Willow and Tara are comforting each other. Dawn is sitting on the counter, looking a million miles away.*

"Where is he? He should be back by now." Anya cried, "He's dead. I just know it. Xander ran into some of those demons and they killed him. I'm going to be a widow before I'm even married."  
  
"What?" Tara's ears perked up.  
  
Anya sighed, "Nevermind. That's not the point. Xander is going to be dead and then I'll have to do something moronically romantic like killing myself."  
  
"Such a shame." Willow mumbled. She cleared her throat and glared at Anya, "They're going to be fine. Buffy can take care of them both."  
  
Anya fumed a little, "Are you implying that Xander can't take care of himself? He *did* axe that demon, y'know." She was about to pounce on Willow for her skeptical look, but had not the time, as Xander came rushing through the front door with Buffy en tow.  
  
"Buffy, Xander!" Everyone declared at once. A round of singular hugs and group hugs were exchanged, and everyone began gushing about Buffy's return.  
Everyone, except Dawn. She was stunned into silence at seeing her sister before her. Buffy was likewise quiet, for the most part, when it came to her sister. They stared at each other for a long time.  
  
"Is it really you?" Dawn asked, her voice barely a whisper. Anya was about to answer the obvious, when Xander threw a hand over her mouth and dragged her away.  
  
Buffy nodded, and within moments, was enveloped in a bearhug that rivaled her Slayer strength. She returned it, and felt her long-unshed tears beginning to flow. Dawn's sobs could be heard, though muffled through Buffy's dress. Her head lifted from Buffy's shoulder, just enough for her to hoarsely mumble, "I love you, Buffy."  
  
Her eyes instinctively, she wasn't sure why, found Xander on the other side of the shop. Her eyes closed tightly as she replied easily, "I love you, too, Dawn."  
  
The moment was broken as Willow cleared her throat. Buffy looked at her quietly, her look expectant, "Yes?"  
  
"I... uh... I'm sorry to interrupt... but I wanted to ask you some things... about where you were and how you're feeling."  
  
Buffy released Dawn from the embrace, keeping an arm around her protectively, "I don't really think there's much to it. I was in hell, had a really not good time with a bunch of hellbeasts, did the eternal torment thing, and now I'm back. Other than that, I'm pretty much peachy."  
  
"Buffy... I... this isn't something we can just joke about. We have to know if we brought you came back alright. If you're all *you.* We want to make sure there weren't any mistakes."  
  
"Mistakes?" Dawn asked, incredulously, "You mean you did this?"  
  
"Yes... we... it's complicated, Dawn." Xander tried to answer gently, reaching a hand out to her.  
  
She quickly batted it away, "Don't touch me. You knew you could do this and you waited so long? You didn't tell *me* about it?"  
  
Tara replied, "D-Dawn, we didn't want to get your h-hopes up... in case it didn't work. We didn't want you to get your feelings hurt."  
  
Dawn clutched her sister protectively, "By lying to me? How did you think you'd break it to me if it worked? 'Oh hey, Dawn. By the way, we brought Buffy back. Here she is!' I can't believe you did this!"  
  
"Dawn." The calm voice startled her. Buffy looked down at her, "Dawnie, please, try to calm down."  
  
Dawn unexpectedly broke away from Buffy's protective arm, looking at her in disbelief, "Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down?" She sniffled deeply, tears beginning to form again, her eyes became angry, "How do I even know you're real?" She looked at Willow and the rest of them with something bordering on hate, "Is she even really my sister?"  
  
The words stung them all, especially Buffy. The look on her little sister's face was enough to break her heart. The young girl stumbled away, towards the stacks, sobbing openly. She turned away from them.  
  
"Yes, she's your sister!" Willow responded, "We wouldn't use anything to trick you. We love you, Dawn. We don't want to hurt you."  
  
"You idiots." The voice was barely recognizable. There was only a trace left that they could recognize as Dawn's. She spun around, bearing pure white eyes and a menacing glare, "You have no idea what you've done."  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy was breathless.  
  
"You'll be made to pay for your transgression. And it will be by my hand." Dawn's mouth opened wide, and a startling burst of flame spouted forth. They all ducked out of the way, as Dawn finished spouting and collapsed to the floor. Xander grabbed a throw pillow and began beating out the fire that had been started in the books on the table. The rest of them rushed to Dawn's side to see if she was okay. After finishing to put out the fire, he rushed to Dawn's side, sitting right above her head.  
  
"W-What happened?" Dawn croaked out, disoriented.  
  
Xander stroked her forehead, as the others comforted her in other ways, "Someone decided to rent Dawn Patrol for a minute. Are you okay?"  
  
She nodded weakly, giving them all relief, "My throat's dry."  
  
Anya looked amused, "Well that's what happens, y'know, when you spit fire."  
  
"Fire?" Dawn was confused.  
  
"The thing that took you, it made you..." Buffy paused, "It's not important. You're okay, that's all that matters."  
  
"Wills, I think we should hit the research pretty hard now. Find out what this is. Anya and I will take Dawn back to the Summer's house, get her some rest. Uh, Buffy... you can go either way." He avoided her eyes as he spoke to her.  
  
Buffy looked torn, but then came to a decision, "I'll come along with you... in case it takes her over again and we find out the human torch isn't the only thing in its bag of tricks."  
  
Xander nodded, and started helping Dawn out of the place. He stopped, letting Anya and Buffy resume the carrying of Dawn, and turned back to Willow, "Willow... whatever you find out, see if it took over Dawn because she was the key, or if its after mystical hosts... cause then I'm coming back here to keep watch over you two. Just... find out something, okay?"  
  
Willow nodded and stuck her nose back in a book, while Tara ran around the stacks grabbing a few other books. Xander headed out after the others.

*CUT TO: The Summers House. Buffy is tucking Dawn in.*

"I don't want to hurt anyone." Dawn spoke quietly, her voice still hoarse.  
  
"You aren't going to. Whatever it is, it's not you." He squeezed Dawn's hand, "We're going to figure out what it is, and we're going to kill it. Just for you."  
  
Dawn smiled faintly, "I'm glad you're back, Buffy."  
  
"I'm glad to be back. I couldn't leave my sister for long." She leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "You should get some rest. If you need anything, just get our attention. Just don't do that fire thing again. That's one trick I could live without ever seeing again. Goodnight, Dawn."  
  
"Goodnight, Buffy. I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Buffy left the room and closed the door behind her. She made her way down the stairs to see Xander sitting apprehensively on the couch, trying to not look extremely worried. When he heard Buffy come down the stairs, he nearly leapt off the couch to interrogate her, "Is Dawnie okay? Is she sleeping?"  
  
Buffy smiled a little, "She will be soon, on both counts. How are you doing?"  
  
"Other than being freaked out that my favorite little Summers was spewing fired less than an hour ago? I'm fine."  
  
Buffy couldn't hold back a smile as she asked, "Who's your favorite *big* Summers?"  
  
Several emotions fluttered through Xander's eyes, but settled on discomfort, "Buffy... can you please not use that against me?"  
  
She nodded quietly, before changing the subject, "Where's Anya?"  
  
He was thankful for the change, as he motioned towards the kitchen, "She went to make some tea in case Dawn had trouble sleeping... you, too."  
"Well, I'll have to remember to tell her tha..."  
  
She was interrupted by a soft, pleading, "Xander?"  
  
They both looked over to see Anya, with pure white eyes, marching out of the kitchen with an open scissors held to her face. When she knew she had their attention, she smiled wickedly, "Upon the world you have unleashed an unspeakable evil. I will have vengeance upon this place, and all who reside, for as many centuries as I need. And the glory will be in the means of destruction. Your own bodies will be used against you." To accent the point, the possessed Anya brought the blade of the scissors down across her cheek, opening a large gash.  
  
"Anya!" He was about to make a dive, but was halted by an unseeable force. The non-Anya continued to mark up her own face, a delighted smile on her face as she did so.  
  
"The human race will be their own undoing. I shall be the hand, you shall be the tool. At the mercy of my influence. And you will not know when it will come. I use this body as an example."  
  
The scissors was brought to Anya's throat, but before the slash could be made, Anya was tackled from behind, "No!" Dawn grabbed Anya's arm, knocking the scissors from her hand. Before anything further transpired, Anya dropped to the floor unconscious, taking Dawn with her.  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy rushed to her sister's aide, as Xander went to Anya. As soon as she knew Dawn was alright, she sprung up, "I'll get bandages!" She bounded up the stairs.  
  
"Ahn, speak to me... please. Let me know you're okay." He was beyond relieved to see the blade only nicked her throat, the small spot of blood nothing compared to what it could have been. He rocked her gently in his arms, whispering her name repeatedly.  
  
He didn't notice her slight shiver as she regained consciousness, continuing his ritualistic rocking, until she barked, "Xander, stop it, you're making me nauseous."  
He smiled with relief, leaning down and planting a kiss on her with no heed to the fact he was getting blood all over himself. Buffy returned with the bandages, and helped him move her onto the couch, where he immediately started dressing her wounds.  
  
Buffy led Dawn back up to her room and put her back to bed. When she came back, Xander had finished bandaging Anya's face, and she had since fallen asleep. He sat over her, as if to watch and make sure she took ever breath she was supposed to.  
  
Buffy came to stand by him, and he looked up. She could see his eyes were wet with barely held-off tears. She laid a hand on his shoulder, "Is she going to be okay?"  
  
He stood up, leading her across the living room, "Yeah," He whispered, "The cuts were mostly shallow. She should be fine, but she almost..."  
She squeezed his arm, "I know, Xander. But she's okay. Focus on that."  
  
He sighed, "I suppose we should call Willow... warn her. This thing... it made her... how can we stop this, Buffy? It's using us against ourselves."  
"Well find something, Xander. And we'll kill it for what it did to her. I promise."  
  
He smiled weakly, "Thanks. Well, I don't want to move her, so it looks like we're spending the night here."  
  
"Where are you gonna sleep? Anya has the couch, Dawn had her room, Willow and Tara have the main bedroom... I..." She stopped, something running through her mind.  
  
Before she could get much farther, he interrupted her, "I can manage on the floor." Before she could argue, he kept going, "I'll go give Willow a call, let her know what happened. Just grab me some pillows and a blanket or two from upstairs."  
  
She did so reluctantly, and he made a short call to the Magic Box. When she came back down, he was exiting the kitchen with a couple of cups of tea. He handed her one, and started talking without prompting, "Wills said she didn't find much on what this is. She did, however, find a general warding spell. It should keep whatever this is out... she and Tara just got done doing it at the Magic Box, and they'll do it here as soon as they got home. Hopefully it'll do its job... I really don't want to have that happen again." He motioned towards Anya on the couch.  
  
"Alright... so we just wait for Willow and Tara to get home, and hope the boogie man doesn't try to catch us again. Sounds fun."  
  
He almost laughed, when his eye caught movement in the front yard. The blonde hair reflected in the moonlight told him exactly who it was. Without a second thought, he took Buffy's empty cup of tea and suggested, "Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed? I'll clean up down here, and then we can hang out until the witchly women get here."  
  
Buffy was apprehensive about leaving him alone again, but didn't put up too much of a fight. When the door to her room closed, he put the cups down, and headed out the front door.

*CUT TO: The front yard. Spike is making his way to the door when Xander steps out.*

"Xander? What the bloody hell are you doing here?"  
  
"Anya and I dropped Dawn off here. We found her wandering around downtown." Xander answered.  
  
Spike looked irritated, "Oh, right, so I suppose now you're gonna blame me for letting her get out of my sights, right?"  
  
"No. Hell broke loose tonight, Spike. You probably did your best to keep her inside... but we both know how stubborn she is. We ran into her after taking out the demon leader. They pretty much fled town after that."  
  
"Took out the demon leader? What did Red cook up to take the wank out?"  
  
Xander's face tightened, "Willow didn't kill him."  
  
Spike was surprised, "Oh, the little blonde one then?"  
  
"No, Spike. I killed him."  
  
Spike let out a laugh, "You? No offense, droops, but you don't have what it takes to off whatever bloke was ringleading this."  
"I'm just full of surprises, *William.*" Xander kept himself even.  
  
Spike just rolled his eyes, "Right then. I'm gonna go check on the nibblet."  
  
He tried walking past Xander, but found a strong arm blocking his way, even pushing him back, "I don't think so."  
  
"Get out of my way, boy."  
  
Xander wanted to start a fight. It would surely relieve a lot of his built up tension. He didn't, though, for Buffy's sake. "She's sleeping, Spike. She's had a *very* rough night. Why don't you just come back tomorrow night?"  
  
"And just who do you think you are, telling me what to do?" Spike spat back impetulantly.  
  
"I think I'm a person who's looking out for Dawn's welfare at the moment. I said you could come back tomorrow, Spike, I suggest you take me up on my offer before it's retracted."  
  
Spike felt like tearing him apart. Vamping out, and sucking the throat right out of him. He sighed inwardly when he remembered he couldn't. He glared at the young man for a while, before turning around and storming off back down the sidewalk, cursing as he went, "Wanker. Git. ...Wanker."  
  
Xander waited a little while before turning around and going back in the door. Upstairs, Buffy's head pulled back from looking out the window.  
  
Xander finished putting the dishes away before heading up the stairs towards Buffy's room. He stopped at the door and nearly fell over. She was dressed for bed, alright. As if she was expecting some dashing young man to come spend the night with her.  
  
Xander gulped loudly as he thought he might be the man she was envisioning. The sophomore boy in his head was doing backflips and taking his pants off already, but Xander mentally shook his head. He put on a simple smile and spoke, "Will and Tara should be home any minute. You can go to bed and we can do the ward spell on our own. You need your rest anyway."  
  
She took his statement as a subtle refusal to her advance. She'd known it was futile the minute she'd slipped on her nightgown, but still felt like trying. Of all the emotions she was struggling to get a grasp on again, love was one she knew she wanted most of all. His outright statement of his love had drawn her towards this. Towards almost throwing herself at him. Despite his refusal of her silent advances, she did not take offense to it, or look at it as a rejection. She simply saw it for what it was; a friend respecting her too much to take advantage of vulnerability. One dedicated to another and not about to go repeating past mistakes. She smiled slightly, "Goodnight, Xander. Sweet dreams."  
  
He returned the smile, "You too, Buff. You too."


	3. Head Under Water

"Head Under Water"  
Sequel to Best Laid Plans 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; & Flooded

Summary: A continuation of "To Me" and "Best Laid Plans" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing more than the clothes on my back and a ticket stub from an Aerosmith concert back in '97. Joss is the man with the contract, though I'd honestly switch places with him any day.

Author's Note: This part is a bit shorter, because I didn't much like tonights episode and thusly couldn't find much material from it. But I did particularly enjoy Giles reaming Willow. That was wonderfully refreshing to see Willow scolded for once.

*CUT TO: The Magic Box, evening. Willow, Dawn, and Xander are researching while Tara and Anya are stocking the store.*

"It's temporary!" Willow related with a big smile.  
"What is?" Xander rushed over.  
"Thaumogenesis! It's going to dissipate. The only way it can survive on our plane is if it was to kill the subject of the focal point of the original spell..." Willow said with dread.  
Dawn frowned, "So it has to kill... Buffy?" Willow nodded.  
"Thanks for the tip." Xander growled, his eyes pure white. In a split second, he grabbed the heads of Willow and Dawn's heads, and brought them crashing together. They crumpled to the ground, and he wasted no time in heading out the front door.  
Moments later, Anya and Tara came rushing from the store room to aid the two. Tara looked at her girlfriend with worry, "Willow, baby, what happened?"  
"Where's Xander?" Anya demanded.  
"He was possessed..." Willow choked out.  
Anya began to cry, thinking of the possibilities that could bring about. Dawn's yelling snapped her out of it, "He went to kill Buffy!"  
They wasted no time in collecting their things and pursuing him.

*CUT TO: In front of the Summers home, a short while later. Possessed Xander is standing at the end of the walk, staring up at the house.*

His eyes were still an eerie, solid white. He looked at the house with a faint amusement. He seemed surprised that it was such an ordinary looking house.  
Deciding that time was of the essense, he bellowed loudly, "Oh Slayer. Come out here and face your destruction." His voice carried unbelievably, only slightly resembling the voice of Xander.  
The front door opened softly, and Buffy poked her head out. She saw it was Xander, and momentarily her guard went down. The moment, though, passed quickly as she saw his eyes and remembered his words. She exited the house, and made he way down the walk.  
"I'm not even going to bother with the 'What do you want?'" She glared, "Give Xander his body back."  
He growled in response, "I don't think so. I like this one. He's deceptively strong." He grinned lecherously, "I think I'll keep him."  
Buffy frowned at the implication, but tried not to let her discomfort slip. She put her hand on her hips non-chalantly, making sure she was ready in case a fight broke out, "Are you going to get to the point of your being here, or should I wait for you to file for home owner's insurance? Cause I can guarantee you're gonna need it if you think you're keeping Xander's body."  
"Your self-assurance will be proven unfounded, Slayer." His smile was only broken as he struck out at her with a lazy fist. She blocked it easily and shoved him back. He was undeterred, coming at her again with a series of punches that were much more determined. He layed his best into her, and she held it off as best as she could.  
Which was pretty damn good. He left a large hole in his defenses, which allowed the Slayer to get in a fierce backhand which sent him reeling. She immediately regretted it, as Xander would be sporting a sizeable bruise in the morning.  
When he looked up at her, she let out a gasp that could have woken the dead, let alone the neighbors. Staring up at her, with cold, blank white eyes, was Xander with a full-on game face. His smile returned, and the pit in her stomach grew in depth by leaps and bounds. The eyes combined with the ridges was enough to send chills down her spine.  
She hadn't the time to explore possible reasons for this transformation as he launched another volley of punches and kicks that where testing her abilities. The fact that it was Xander attacking her was the main cause of her semi-lax offense.  
She finally got the advantage again, delivering a stunning blow and instintively reaching for a stake in her belt. She was a half-second away from staking the creature, when she again remembered it was simply borrowing Xander's body. She couldn't live with herself if she'd killed him in the heat of battle when it wasn't his fault.  
All this took place in the space of a few milliseconds, after which she delivered a solid blow to his chest and stumbled him back into the tree in the front yard and then careening to the ground. He began laughing heartily as he got back to his feet with assistance from the nearby tree. He leaned against it, showing he was winded and that some part of him was still human, and taunted, "You have quite a dilemma, Slayer. If you kill me, you kill this boy who cares so much for you. Your destruction is in my ha..." His head snapped skyward, as if hearing something.  
A furious growl escaped his lips, and he declared, "You can't! Her death is within my grasp! You will not..." His voice cut off sharply, and Xander collapsed feebly to the ground.  
Buffy rushed over to him, though cautiously, and examined him. She lifted an eyelid to see his chocolate brown eyes once again residing behind them. Caught in a moment of... something, Buffy leaned down to bring her lips to Xander's. She wasn't sure what was causing the urge to kiss him, but she didn't feel like stopping it.  
Before she could follow through, a groggy, "Buffy?" Xander's eyes were fluttering open, and she sprang backwards, "Buffy... why do I feel like I was strapped to the front of a UPS truck and driven off a cliff?" His eyes lazily latched onto her, and he smild faintly.  
She slipped between a frown and a smile, before she answered, "Because... uh, you were possessed. And you fought me."  
He frowned deeply, "Ahh, that would explain the ringing in my head." She helped him get to his feet, "Please tell me you won..."  
She shook her head, "Mr. Possessive Guy fled the scene before I could beat him... if I even had an idea how to do that." A moment of silence passed between them, as they avoided each other's eyes. She spoke up suddenly, "Xander, I'm so..."  
"BUFFY! Get away from him, he's trying to kill you!"  
Buffy shook her head, "Been there, done that, Wills."  
Xander felt the sore spot on his cheek that was stinging annoyingly, "And I'm still working my way back from next week." Buffy smiled apologeticly at him, as Anya rushed by and tackled him.  
"Xander! You're back!" She rained kisses down on him with a fury, "I was so scared you were going to come here and get killed by Buffy."  
Buffy watched on with narrow eyes, until Willow got her attention. "Buffy, are you okay?"  
Buffy nodded in response, "Nothing hurt on this Slayer."  
"What happened?"  
"Well, Xan showed up, all Poltergeist 3 and everything, and started fighting me..." She looked at Willow, "And then it got weirder."  
"That's possible?" Xander said after getting up off the ground again.  
"Totally... I knocked him down once, and when he got up... he was all fangs and ridges like our favorite Sunnydale co-habitants." They all gasped audibly, "That's what I said! So we fought a little bit more, and then he looked up at the sky, had a little personal argument... and then I guess his lease was up." She looked troubled by a thought.  
"Buffy, did something else bad happen?"  
"No, Wills... it was just... there was something familiar about it..."  
"About his out-loud internal monologue?" Xander asked, standing over Buffy's shoulder protectively, with Anya clutching herself around his waist.  
"No," She repeated, "It was the way he fought... it was just... like I'd been there before." She shrugged, "Maybe I've just had one too many fights and they're all overlapping in my head."  
Willow frowned and lost herself in thought. Tara prodded her gently to get her to talk, "We're going to have to research some more... I've never heard of a possession where this has happened... it's so confusing."  
"We better get somewhere with that ward spell in place. I wouldn't want any of us to get possessed and trying to kill Buffy again soon."  
Xander groaned, "I think I've done my one-time deal. Another Buffy ass-kicking and I'll probably never have kids."  
"Oh, whatever would we do without little Xander's running around?" Buffy drawled with sarcasm.  
"Fine, mock my lineage, Buff. I'll show you when there's an army of cute little brunettes running around screaming for their Aunt Buffy." None of them noticed the strange look Buffy got on her face. Before the thoughts got any deeper, Xander broke though them, "Well, I do believe Ahn and I are going to go home and have some dinner."  
"Which button on the speed dial is it tonight, Xand?" Willow joked.  
"I'll have you know, I am an accomplished cook of culinary delights and I... fine, it's the chinese place." He managed to successfully elicit a laugh from all of them.  
"We're going to have to wait for Giles to get here to help us re-ward the Magic Box and our houses, but we can at least research and figure out why it didn't work tonight."  
"I just *l-love* those late n-night study sessions." Tara said. They all looked at her in surprise.  
"Tara just made a joke. I do believe I'm proud." Xander said, hugging the small blonde for effect.  
Willow chuckled and pulled her girlfriend along with her, "We better get going."  
Dawn started to follow, until Buffy grabbed her arm, "You, young lady, are heading inside the house to do your homework and go to bed."  
"But..." She looked at Willow and Tara anxiously.  
"But nothing. I'm in charge, remember? Dawnie, I don't want you to slack off in school like I did... you've gotta do great things not involving demon slaying." Without further protest, she dragged Dawn into the house by the hand.

*CUT TO: Xander and Anya's apartment. They're washing dishes after finishing dinner.*

"Ahn, there's something I want to talk to you about..."  
"Xander, I don't like that tone... please don't let this be something bad..."  
He pulled her over to the table, "No, Ahn, it doesn't have to be bad." He tried to pull his thought's together, "With Buffy having so much trouble with her bills..."  
"I told her to start charging!" Anya declared, proud of herself.  
"Yeah, Ahn, I know... in other situations, that my be reasonable... but this is Buffy, and she's a Slayer. Not exactly something that lends itself to an hourly charge." He stroked the back of his hand against her cheek and looked at her pleadingly, "I was thinking maybe we could... lend her some money, y'know just until she got back on her feet and found a steady job."  
Anya looked mortified, "You want me to... give *her* my money?"  
"Yes," He said simply, "With the money we have coming in from my construction work and what you're going to be getting from the Magic Box... we're going to have more than enough to pay our bills as well as her bills, and still have some left over for spending."  
"But... it's *our* money. She needs to get her *own* money."  
He sighed, "Ahn, there's a thing called charity..." He stopped, "God, Buffy would kick my ass if that's what she thought it was," He thought for a moment, "It's called giving of yourself to help others... to help your friends. We're going to have more money then we'll know what to do with. It won't hurt us any to give some of what we have in order to help Buffy."  
Anya tried desperately to come up with a valid arguement against giving away her money. She knew it was futile as soon as he started using what Willow would call a 'resolve face.' He always used it in matters that concerned Buffy. Reluctantly, she let out a sad sigh and replied, "Alright... but as soon as she gets herself a good job, no more!"  
He smiled widely, "Thank you, Ahn... I'm so grateful I didn't have to use the resolve face." She tried not to laugh, when he continued, "Now... the trick will be convincing Buffy this isn't just a handout."


	4. Working Class Girl

"Working Class Girl"  
Sequel to Head Under Water 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; & Flooded

Summary: A continuation of "To Me", "Best Laid Plans", and "Head Under Water" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Author's Note: I neglected to mention that I was still honoring the fact that Giles came back. That part I liked, cause Giles rules. I also ignore the Buffy/Spike interactions. So far, whenever Spike has come to visit Dawn, Buffy is either not there, or she avoids running into him. Oh, and I TOTALLY wrote the check-giving bit before seeing the episode. Way back on Thursday/Friday. I just wanted to make sure *someone* gave her money.

*CUT TO: The Summers House. Buffy is sitting at the desk, sipping some coffee, as she pours through her bills once again.*

The front door swung open, and Xander came in lugging pieces of a coffee table. Buffy gave him a small smile as he entered the living room and leaned the parts against the couch.  
He returned the smile as he spoke, "Just dropped by to put together your new coffee table. Figured today was as good as any."  
She stood up, "I don't know how I can pay you back for all your help..." She quickly offered an elongated hug, which they both seemed to enjoy.  
He pulled back to show her his lop-sided grin, "Well, that's definitely a good start..." He looked down at the pieces of wood against the couch, "But it's really not a problem... just some pieces of lumber I bought and carved myself. No biggie."  
She sighed and stepped over to look at the desk, "Yes, biggie... I don't have the money to pay you for..." She turned around to see Xander cautiously presenting a check between his two hands. Her were confused at first, then bulged as she saw the amount the check was for, "Xander... the idea is for *me* to pay *you* for the work, not the other way around."  
He looked at her pleadingly, before looking slightly fearful as she realized what he was trying to do. "Xander! I'm not taking money from you. You need it just as much as I do." He didn't back down, despite looking worried, "I can't!"  
"You can, and you will." The kitchen door swung open, revealing Giles with a platter. He walked into the room and set it down on the edge of the desk. Picking up the tea pot, he slowly poured three cups of tea before answering, "Coffee is terrible for you, you should start drinking tea. And Xander's gesture, albeit unsubtle, is heartfelt. You need help from all of us, Buffy. We won't take no for an answer."  
Buffy looked furious, "You two planned this!"  
Xander spoke up this time, "No, we didn't actually. Anya and I did. Well, more like I did and then convinced Anya it was a good idea. I don't mean to disrespect you Buffy. This isn't meant to be a handout. I just don't want to see you lose everything."  
Buffy was still angry, "You think I can't take care of myself?"  
"No!" Giles and Xander answered in unison. They exchanged a glance before Giles continued, "You've recently gone through a tremendous ordeal. And now that you've come back, there are a great deal of new responsibilities which will take you a while to get acclimated to. We simply wish to provide a... safety net of sorts, to keep you from being overwhelmed."  
"I..." She sighed, "I don't know what to say." She glanced at her bills dejectedly.  
Xander walked over and placed the check on her desk, within her field of vision, on top of the bills, "You can start, Buffy... with yes." He turned her around and looked in her eyes, "We're always going to be here for you. All you have to do is ask."  
Giles smiled at the exchange, but said nothing, simply waited for a reply. Buffy lowered her head, stifling what sounded like soft sobs, before whispering, "Yes." Both men put a hand on her shoulders and tried to offer comfort.

*CUT TO: The Magic Box. Giles is performing a small ritual on the main table, while the others are researching here and there.*

Willow leaned heavily on the counter as she poured over the book again and again. It only served to frustrate her more and more. She curses quietly, before speaking up, "It has all the basic characteristics of Thaumogenesis... but there's no explanation of how it could make Xander a vampire for any amount of time. It completely unexplainable."  
Xander hopped down off his perch on the stairs, setting his own book aside, "It's not your fault, Will. We've had worse before. Glory baffled us until we got a clue from the Watcher's Council. They were hardly helpful until we got in their faces. We've gotten through the hard times before, and this is no different."  
"But last time we survived and Buffy..." Willow trailed off.  
"Died? You can say it, Will. Not talking about it won't change the fact that it happened." Buffy commented.  
Willow nodded mutely. Giles sensed the tension and broke it quickly, "Well, I do believe that's finished. I'll have to make the rounds to each of your residences... but we should be relatively safe." He walked over to Willow and looked at the materials she had before her, "Let me have a look at the texts on Thaumogenesis... perhaps I can make a correlation between it and other materials I've studied."  
Xander nodded, "And that's my cue to head for home. Anya's gonna start to worry, and I have to work tomorrow anyway." He packed up his things and headed towards the door. As Willow and Giles looked over the texts, Buffy jumped up and followed Xander to the door. She caught his attention by tapping him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he couldn't help but smile, "Yes, Buffy?"  
"I..." She looked back at the others before lowering her voice, "I want to pay you back for they money."  
For a reason he couldn't easily explain, his mind flashed to a memory he didn't remember having. He saw Buffy hovering over him, in her front yard, almost kissing him. It played over in his mind over and over. So consuming it was to his mind, that he completely missed what Buffy had said. He had to shake his head and ask, "Say what? I'm sorry, I was non-occupado in the cabasa there."  
"I said, I want to pay you back... as soon as I possibly can. I was wondering... could you get me a job?"  
He looked at her in confusion, "Isn't that something you should do for yourself, Buff?"  
She frowned, "No... I meant... could you..." She paused, blushing, "Getmeajobatyourconstructionsite?"  
Xander took a moment to interpret her garbled words. When it dawned on him, his eyes went wide, "You want to... work at the construction site? I... well..." He thought for a mere moment, then he smiled at her warmly, "Sure, Buffy. I'll go in tomorrow, talk with my boss... pull a few of my 'good worker' strings, and see to getting you some temp work."  
"Really?" Her face lit up.  
He laughed, "Of course. I'm always willing to help out my slayer friend."  
She pounced on him with a hug, causing him to groan in minor pain before hugging her back, "Yeah... friend." He was unable to hear it, as she had mumbled it into his chest.  
"What?" He was confused again.  
She looked up at him, "Nothing, I just said 'thank you.'"  
"It's my pleasure, Buffy. And if it doesn't work out there's always working for Giles." She made a face that he couldn't help but laugh at. He waved goodbye one last time before heading out.  
Giles walked up and saw her distant, wistful look, "What was that about?"  
She suddenly became aware of her surroundings, "I was just asking Xander for a favor... to help me pay him back."  
"Oh... really?" Giles looked surprised at hearing she was asking for help, "Well, I suppose that's good. What was it?"  
"I just asked him to try to get me a job at his construction site. To help earn his money back."  
"That sounds like quite a good idea, Buffy. I'm glad to see such maturity." He smiled warmly.  
She nodded, before pausing, "Are you saying I'm not mature?"  
"Uhh... uhh..." He looked off towards Willow, "Willow, did you say you needed more help? I'll be there in just a moment." He looked at Buffy once more before dashing off to 'help' Willow. Buffy laughed quietly, then went back to where her books were and continued researching.  



	5. Tasty Little Morsel

"Tasty Little Morsel"  
Sequel to Working Class Girl 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; Flooded; & All The Way

Summary: A continuation of "To Me", "Best Laid Plans", "Head Under Water", and "Working Class Girl" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Author's Note: The day before Halloween. The episode happens pretty much as it did on TV. Giles still rules. I also ignore the Buffy/Spike interactions. So far, whenever Spike has come to visit Dawn, Buffy is either not there, or she avoids running into him.

*FADE TO: The Magic Box. The gang is hanging Halloween decorations all over the shop. Dawn is sitting down at the table, flipping through a catalog.*

"I think I should get this catwoman suit. This boy, Bobby, from school would go totally ape when he saw it." Tara came over and looked at it. Even her eyes managed to bulge out.  
"Dawn, dear..." Xander said, coming over. She stared intently at the catalog, trying desperately to hide the smile he brought to her. He looked at the costume for a moment, "...I'm afraid I just can't see you wearing that on Halloween... Well, I could, but then I'd have to be sent away to jail."  
Tara laughed, "I t-think what Xander is trying to s-say is... a fifteen year old girl shouldn't be wearing something like that for Halloween."  
Dawn looked up pleadingly, "But I'm such a mature fifteen!"  
"Mature, schmature, Dawnie." Xander mocked with a grin, "With our record of Halloween mischief, the last thing we need is for you to turn into a cat from some magic spell. You should have something much more practical. I was army guy that year, and it helped us stay alive."  
Dawn smiled, "You looked so good in those fatigues, too. It's no wonder Buffy clinged to you like a life preserver."  
Xander looked like a deer caught in a car's headlights. He stole a quick glace to the register where Anya was working. He breathed a sigh of relief when she seemed not to have heard. He'd been on edge about the subject of Buffy ever since he'd had that moment in the shop. The 'almost kissing Buffy memory' moment.  
Tara touched him lightly on the arm, seeing his daze. He jumped to attention and let out a comment, "We'll have to leave it up to your sister about the catwoman costume, Dawn... but I'd be picking a back-up or two, cause your sister just doesn't tolerate the 'trashy romance novel woman' costume style."  
Dawn looked dejected, but went back to flipping through the catalog. In the meantime, Xander busied himself with decorating again.  
After a few minutes, Tara approached him. She had a quiet concern on her face as she spoke in a whisper, "Xander, is something wrong?"  
"What? No, no, of course not." She looked at him skeptically, and his facade couldn't hold up for long, "Okay, yeah... but I don't know if I can talk about it out here... it's kinda sensitive material."  
Tara watched him for a moment, and nodded, "If you w-want, we can take a walk outside a-and you can tell me everything."  
He smiled warmly at her friendly gesture. At first, he was going to turn her down. He just wasn't sure if he could talk to her about it. The more the thought about it, though, the more logical it seemed. She was about the only person he *could* talk to about it all. Anya and Buffy were too close to the issue. Giles and Willow were also a little personally involved, and would probably yell at him for what he'd done. Dawn would have been happy for him, but had no known ability to keep secrets. He wouldn't talk to Spike, because the vampire still didn't know about Buffy's return. Tara was the closest thing he had to impartial in the group. He decided it couldn't hurt to tell her.  
"Sure, I suppose it'd be nice to get it out. Let's go have a talk." She showed him that shy smile that made her so endearing, and they headed for the exit.  
Before they could leave, though, Anya yelled at him. "Where do you two think you're going? You haven't finished decorating the store. If Tara wasn't such an obvious lesbian, I'd worry you were going off to have an affair." She paused, her face almost breaking, "You aren't, are you?"  
Xander sighed, "Anya, no, we're not. Could you please have a little respect for Tara and not treat what she is like it's an affliction?" He got his calm back, "We're just going on a coffee and donut run. We'll be back in a few minutes."  
"Oh, all right." She looked at Tara, and unconvincingly said, "I'm sorry for what I said, Tara." She quickly went back to counting money.  
Dawn brought her head up, giving a million-dollar smile, "Make sure you bring me my favorite, Xander."  
Xander smiled as he helped Tara put her jacket on, "Raspberry Bismark with multi-color sprinkles. I could never forget, Dawn Patrol." He pulled on his own jacket and headed out the door.

*CUT TO: Spike's Crypt. He's watching Passions on a surprisingly new TV.*

When 'Passions' went to commercial, Spike got up to get some more blood. He passed by the small marker placed atop his tomb lid. It was supposed to ward off the spirit that had been possessing the Scoobies in the past few weeks. He could care less whether they were possessed or not, but they had demanded his crypt be protected. They apparently didn't want to see a return from the Big Bad of Sunnydale.  
Actually, they didn't want to see a return of him period. He'd gone to visit Dawn several times in the past week, but they'd been kept short. He hadn't spent the night at all. The whelp Xander had made sure he didn't stay any later than midnight. He had the strangest feeling that they were keeping something from him, but he could have cared less about what they thought he shouldn't see.  
Ever since Buffy had died, he didn't care about much of anything. Whether or not they cared to accept it, he really felt something for Buffy. Maybe it was love, maybe it wasn't. Whatever it was, he knew it had left a hole in him that wouldn't leave him alone. The only thing he could do to make it feel better was to visit Dawn and watch over her. It felt like he was keeping a promise to the Slayer. Still, he'd have sacrificed any number of things for the Slayer to be back.  
He cursed quietly as he came out of his daze. He dashed back to the television to find his show back from commercials. 'Bloody Slayer haunts me even in death.'  
The rest of the show passed in silence. When it was over, he went back to looking at the marker. It was another constanct reminder of the life he was leading now. He shook his head and thought about the night coming up. Halloween. The night where most creatures of the night stayed in and relaxed. Not him, however. He remembers the Halloween several years ago fondly. The town running wild from the spell of Ethan Rayne. It had been such a glorious chaos.  
He could only hope something equally as hazardous would happen this Halloween. Both from the perspective of watching it, and stopping it. He begrudgingly accepted the fact that he was doomed to helping the Scooby Gang thwart evil.

*CUT TO: Exterior sidewalk, leading to the Magic Box.*

Xander finished detailing what had happened since Buffy came back to Tara. She was quiet, and encouraged him to continue, and he was grateful to finally get it off his chest. She hadn't been all that surprised about the engagement. She had, however, been surprised at his confession to Buffy.  
"So that's the creek I'm up. Care to lend me a paddle?" Xander joked, lifting the lid of the donut box, checking over the stock.  
"M-most important, you have to tell everyone about the engagement. B-before you totally screw up things with Anya." He nodded, "Then, you have to find out how Buffy feels, cause if you're just reading too much into things, you don't want to go making it all awkward between you."  
"Check and check." They stopped in front of the door of the Magic Box, "Tara, have I ever made you feel... like you were an outsider? Like, you didn't belong?"  
"Xander, no, no..." She paused as he looked at her skeptically, "Okay, maybe a little. But it's cause I am."  
"No, you're not, Tara. Did the whole incident with your family not register? You're part of our family now. I only acted like I did towards you, because... well, it was my best friend Willow, and it was something I'd never expected out of her. It was wrong of me to take out my lack of understanding on you. You were just being yourself, and now that I know you better, I can understand why she loves you so much." He pulled her into an unexpected hug.  
She smiled and responded, "All forgiven, Xander. I know you were just looking out for your friend. And yeah, I know she loves me. I love her too." They were quiet for a minute. Tara laughed, "Maybe we should go in, we've been out here so long, Anya is probably formulating a plan to kill me by now."  
Xander laughed nervously, "Yeah, she probably is."  
He turned the door and it jingled, Anya greeted him with a growl. Tara proceeded into the shop with the donuts while Anya began rambling, "Xander, you took much too long. We finished decorating, everyone went home, and I'm no longer hungry for the sweet-filled baked pastry. Buffy called to ask if you'd come over and help her and Dawn decorate the house. Apparently they're bitter about their cumalative lack of height and want someone with long arms to dangle things from the eves."  
"Oh, how I love our procrastinative nature towards decoration and.. y'know, normal things. Why do we always decide to hold off on decorating until the day before holidays?" Xander said as he walked towards the main room.  
"Because we're usually slaying the things that go bump in the night every other night?"  
"Ahh, I knew there was a reason." He gave Anya a short kiss, "I better head over there before the Slayer gets irritable and slays me. I'll see you at the apartment, Ahn."

*CUT TO: Summers home, after sundown.*

Spike stomped along the sidewalk, leading towards the Summers house. He'd gotten antsy and felt like visiting Dawn. He'd seen a few nasties out on his way there, and done away with him. He was becoming strangely apathetic to the fact he was a turncoat, like Angel. Four years ago, if you'd told him he'd be helping out the friends of the Slayer, he'd have laughed. Well, after he'd torn your head right off your shoulders.  
The most unexpected part of it had been his feelings. The fact that they reaared their ugly head again. For the Slayer herself. For centuries it had been him and Dru. He wouldn't get started on THAT subject. Now he was in love with a Slayer. His mortal enemy. If he became any more like Angel, he swore he'd stake himself.  
He strutted his way towards the Summers' front door, cradling the box of Halloween candies under his arm. He pulled up his hand to open the door, when he saw it. The head of blonde hair that rushed past the door, going from the living room to the dining room.  
The box of candies fell from his arm, and his face went slack. A few short moments before it twisted in anger. His growl was nearly audible through the door.  
He swung it open, startling the houses occupants. Xander was up from his seat at the dining table, where he was carving a pumpkin, in time to see who it was. Spike stalked towards him menacingly, "You sodding bastard! You brought her back and didn't see fit to tell me?"  
Xander returned his anger, "Why? So you could start stalking her again? We thought we made it clear to you, Spike; thank you, but move the hell on."  
Spike got right in his face, despite the headache that was forming merely from his thoughts, "What gives you the right? To decide whether or not I'm allowed to see her? You're not bloody God, mate, despite the fact you lot brought her back."  
Xander was level with him, "I may not be God, but I sure as hell aren't a demon. My right is the fact that I'm her friend, and she doesn't need a leech like you in her life."  
"Leech?" Spike growled, "I'll show you a bloody leech..." He pulled his arm back to swing, knowing full-well he'd be crouching on the floor before it even hit Xander's face.  
His swing was halted by a strong hand grabbing his arm and nearly yanking it from the socket, "STOP!" Buffy yelled.  
He was spun around to face her. It immediately melted his insides, and his anger subsided for the moment, "Buffy." His voice was a whisper.  
Her reply was emotionless as could be imagined, a rough, "Spike."  
He tried not to look hurt, "Do you... want talk?"  
She sighed, looking away and sticking her hands in her back pockets, "Not particularly." She walked away to go find Dawn.  
Spike's anger flared, but he couldn't turn it on her, so he went back to Xander, "I can't believe what you've done. Do you know the forces you've messed with?"  
Xander was momentarily stirred, but shook it off, "Look. You're just covering. Don't tell me you're not happy." Spike scoffed. "Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence." The look in Xander's eyes strikes him.  
He wants to retort, but the simplicity of Xander's statement can't be countered. He gives up, turning around and walking through the front door. "That's the thing about magic." His pause caused Xander to follow cautiously, only to sloppily catch a box of Halloween candy, "There's always consequences."  
He stomped down the walk, screaming back, "ALWAYS!"

*CUT TO: The Magic Box. Halloween day.*

Anya rolled around, talking to customers and encouraging them to buy things. A young boy is looking over some items on the research table, when from behind him, a voice booms, "What do you think you're doing?"  
He spins around, scared. He lets out a little squeak, then his eyebrow lifts, "What the heck are you supposed to be? Why's your hair so spikey?"  
Xander smiled faintly, throwing back the tail of his duster and resting his hands in his pockets, "I'm Angel, and it's called the miracle of hair gel. Now, is there anything I can help you with?"  
"How much for this?" The kid pointed to a jar of slimey stuff.  
Xander looked at the name tag, recalling the item, "Hograth Mucus? Pretty powerful stuff, what do you need it for?"  
The kid scrunched his face, "My sister's boyfriend is bullying me. I wanna make him forget how to go to the bathroom."  
Xander chuckled, eerily like Angel himself, and shook his head, "A noble effort, young man, but far too drastic. A much simpler trick is to catch him napping, and put his hand in a bowl of warm water. He'll wake up with a wonderful, embarrassing surprise. Do that a few times, and your sister will probably dump him."  
The kid looked a little doubtful, but finally nodded and headed out of the store. Anya rolled up, "Xander! You chased away a sale!"  
"Ahn, I really hate to see kids that young practicing magic. I'm just trying to keep things safer." She shook her head and rolled off.  
"Xander, I could use some help over here!" Giles declared.  
"On my way, Giles." He made a flourish with his duster, and swooped over to help Giles with bagging.  
Buffy came up from the store room, only to be greeted by Anya, "You need to go get me some Eye of Newt. We're all out of Eye of Newt!" Anya grabbed her shoulders exaggeratively, "We need more Eye of Newt!"  
Buffy looked alarmed, "Calm down, Anya, I'll go..."  
"Buffy, a bit of help over here..." Giles called from behind the counter, next to Xander.  
Buffy looked relieved, prying herself from Anya's hands, "Well, lookitthat, Giles needs me. Why don't you get Willow to go down and get it for you? Buhbye!" She dashed down the stairs to where Giles is. She sees Xander's costume, and rolls her eyes, "Xander, the costume, sooo not funny."  
Xander just smiled as he stuffed bags, "Awww, c'mon. I was trying to coordinate with Ahn... she's an angel, I'm an Angel. It just worked out."  
Buffy just shook her head, but her eyes were lingering on Xander. He did pull off the Angel look well. She went back to stuffing items in the bag she was holding open. She smiled faintly, sneaking a glance at Xander as she remembered the tone of his voice when he spoke to her on the tower. She then remembered how he looked the night he was possessed, unconscious and looking peaceful. She just wasn't sure why she was becoming so comfortable with those thoughts. Thoughts about Xander, in a more-than-friendly way.

*CUT TO: Graveyard near Spike's Crypt, evening. Spike is seen punching something against the crypt wall, out of sight.*

Spike growled repeatedly, "This is for bringing her back without telling me." He smacked it again, "This is for keeping it from me for so long." Another hard smack, "And this... is for being so damned smarmy!" He delivered a spinning fist, and the attackee came spinning off the back of the tomb.  
The vampire, who looked scraggly and dirty, had his face severely beaten. He stumbled away from Spike, but didn't get very far before he started again. A spinning kick sent him flying over a headstone with a crunch.  
He was about to continue the punishment, when a blur flew past and the vampire burst into dust. He growled in frustration and spun on the attacker, "How dare you kill my..." His face fell, "Buffy." He almost dribbled for a few moments, "What is... did you want to talk now?"  
Buffy's brow furrowed, "No. It's Dawn."  
"Nibblet?"  
"We need to go, NOW. She lied to me. Giles and Xander are looking for her, we are too." Spike didn't need any more prompting. As upset as he felt, Dawn always came first with him.  
"Lead the way."


	6. Out Of Character

"Out Of Character"  
Sequel to Tasty Little Morsel 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; Flooded; & All The Way

Summary: A continuation of "To Me", "Best Laid Plans", "Head Under Water", "Working Class Girl", and "Tasty Little Morsel" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Author's Note: The musical doesn't happen. I just don't have the ability to write a musical... well, I could, but it'd suck. The basic premise survives, and is semi-explained, but the musical itself doesn't happen. That make sense? I probably should have just gone with the musical. Giles still rules. I also ignore the Buffy/Spike interactions. Especially that damned kiss.

*FADE TO: Xander & Anya's apartment. They're flipping through marital catalogs. Xander is looking lost as Anya is flying through and marking all the things she wants to have at the wedding.*

Anya turned the catalog she was holding around, for Xander to see. His eyes bulged, "Anya, I love you, but I'd rather tango with a Chaos demon than wear that color tuxedo. I'd rather just go with a simple black."  
  
Anya frowned, "But then our wedding will be just like anyone elses. I want ours to stand out."  
  
"Anya, I think the fact that you used to be a vengeance demon pretty much sets us apart from everyone else." He found a tux that he liked and showed it to her, "See? Nice, simple, and affordable. We can't exactly throw our money around, Ahn."  
  
Anya scrunched her face bitterly, "Well if you hadn't given all our money to Buffy..."  
  
He sighed deeply, "We have this conversation every day now, don't we? I did not give *all* our money to Buffy, okay? I didn't even give half of it. She's my friend and I can't stand by and watch as she loses everything. I'd like to think I've taught you that much about humanity by now."  
  
Anya was still snippy, "Sure, yeah, you've taught me *lots* about humanity... like the first half of the Kama Sutra." She sniffed and marked a few things off her list as 'too expensive.'  
  
Xander's face fell and he pulled her out of her seat into his lap. She refused to look at him, turning her head away from him. "Anya." He gently brought her face around to look at him with his fingers, "Anya, I don't want to make you cry. I just want us to be married and have all the hub-bub over with. I want you to be Mrs. Harris already."  
  
She smiled faintly, but continued to sniffle, "I just don't want to lose you to her, Xander."  
  
He looked stricken, "Lose me to her? What do you mean?"  
  
She refused to look into his eyes again, so instead she focused on his hands, "Ever since Buffy came back from the dead she's been... a Xander groupie. She's always too happy to see you, and she fawns over you like she's crazy about you. I don't want you to help her out so much that she... that she tries to take you away from me."  
  
He flinched momentarily, but shook his head, "Anya, that'll never happen. I asked you to marry me, and I plan on following through. You're..." He paused oddly, "There's only one person in this world I want to marry."  
  
Despite the vagueness of the endearment, it brought her up to face him again, where she saw an unconditional love in his eyes. Her smile was evident immediately. It was mere moments before she planted a kiss on his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. After a few minutes, they parted, and Anya relented, "I suppose there are a few things I can live without having for the ceremony. The flock of white doves *is* a little extravagent." He smiled warmly back at her as she got up off his lap and returned to her catalogs.

*CUT TO: The Summer's House. First person perspective of Spike(looking at him).*

A look of regret, something many never dreamed would ever pass across his face again, came over Spike's face. He pleaded, "Forgive me, please. I care about you lots, and all I want to do is make it up you. I'll do anything, I swear. Want me to stake myself? Just ask... well, okay, I'm not quite stupid enough to actually do it, but I'd get as close as I could get, just for you. Please?"  
  
Dawn looked at him with intense... anger would probably be a good enough word for it. She almost looked as if to make the request he had jokingly suggested, before crying, "Spike, I hate you! You let the first boy to ever kiss me get killed!" She stopped speaking and took a large bite out of a bite-sized candy bar. There was enough candy around her to feed an army of children, but she still didn't seem pleased.  
  
"I know, Nibblet, I know... but he *did* try to kill you, y'know." Spike spoke wisely.  
  
A clear voice spoke out behind him, coming from the entryway, "Some might say that's a turn-on with the Summers women." Xander spoke a little bitterly.  
  
Spike jumped up, his anger flaring easily with the young man, "I ought to..."  
  
"What? Bat at me like a kitten with a string. Spike, we all know by now that you're about as harmful to humans as a bowl of water." Xander enjoyed one of the few things he could easily hold over Spike's head. Spike flared again, prepared to try attacking him anyway, when Xander held up a hand, "Spike."  
  
They both glanced at Dawn, who began crying anew, "Will you two just STOP?!" She cried. With that, she grabbed as much candy as she could, and ran up the stairs, her door slamming behind her.  
  
Both men looked up the stairs with regret. Spike glared at Xander again, "Great, now look what you..." The look Xander gave him stopped him, "We've done. I'm going to try to talk her down."   
  
Xander begrudgingly agreed, "Tell her I'm sorry."  
  
"That you are..." Spike mumbled under his breath.  
  
Xander plopped down on the couch, grabbing a few candy bars that were just lying there. He moped a little as he chewed on the candy. A few moments later, the kitchen door opened, and Buffy came waltzing out. She smiled when she saw him, and took a seat by him on the couch, "What was that commotion a few minutes ago?" She mock glared at him, "Were you and Spike fighting again?"  
  
He hung his head defeatedly, "Yeah... right in front of Dawn. I think she's still mad at me because I staked her vamp-boyfriend."  
  
Buffy looked aghast, "Boyfriend? He was *not* her boyfriend. Please say he wasn't actually her *boyfriend.*"  
  
"Yep, Buff, it runs in the family." He smirked. The smack he received on his arm made him yelp.  
  
"That is SO not funny, Xander." She sighed and took a candy bar of her own, "Are you here for a reason?"  
  
He rolled his eyes, "I *need* a reason to come visit you and Dawn, Buffy? I can't just drop by?"  
  
"Not when you eat twice as many candy bars than usual." She gestured towards the wrappers on the coffee table, "It means you're nervous. What's up?"  
  
"Giles just wants you to stop by the shop before you patrol. He, uh, said there was something wacky with magic going on tonight. He managed to halt it, but not before an incident broke out."  
  
Buffy watched him as he devoured candybar after candy bar, and became concerned, "Xander... you're eating even more. What happened?"  
  
He laughed, "Let's just say, I informed Giles about several things I'd kept secret about me..." He could see Buffy's eyes bulge out, "He now knows the unfortunate details of what Anya and I did in the basement the night we stopped Glory, the Fabulous Ladies' Night Club... and that I love you." He lowered his head.  
  
"He didn't take it well?"  
  
"Actually, he took it quite well. A lot better than the love spell. He's just pleased I'm not... y'know, taking advantage of you. I have no intention of that, Buffy."  
  
She smiled faintly, "I know that, Xander. You're a perfect gentleman." She saw he was still tense, and decided to push, "Still nervous there, Xan. Talk."  
  
He laughed shortly, before looking around at everything but her, "The whole thing... y'know, telling Giles and all that? I kinda did it in song."  
  
She had to hold back the laughter the image brought to her, "In song?" Her voice cracked. She could see him turning even more red.  
  
"I was singing, okay, Buff? I, Xander L. Harris, was belting out a full-on musical confession."  
  
Buffy couldn't hold a few stray giggles from escaping, but she managed to keep it from getting away from her, "I'm sorry, Xander, but that's just priceless." She gave him a short side-hug, "Giles managed to stop whatever was brewing?"  
  
He nodded, "Yep, but not until after I'd gone and embarrassed myself. He has nice timing that way."  
  
"I'm sure it wasn't *that* bad... especially since I wouldn't have minded getting some details about your night as a male stripper." Her mega-watt smile was enough to make him return one.  
  
"No power on this earth, Buffy. No power on this earth."  
  
"None at all?" She wasn't exactly sure where it had come from. The tone of her voice conveyed an underlying message, which Xander would have been blind not to pick up on. His eyes closed, and he tried to get his thoughts straight.  
  
"Y'know, I should get going... and you should get to visiting Giles. I'll talk to you soon, Buffy." In the blink of an eye, the spot on the couch he had occupiedHis speed in exiting the house rivaled her own Slayer speed.  
  
Now she regretted whatever had made her say those words, that way. She looked towards the entranceway, hoping he'd come back. She wasn't exactly sure why she wished so hard for him to come back. It confused her even more when she wanted him to come back, sweep her into his arms, and kiss him passionately.  
  
He was engaged now. Off-limits. Where was she when he wasn't? Moping over Angel. How had she missed out? Before she could analyze further, she was brought out of her daze by a concerned looking Spike, "Buffy? What's wrong? You look like a puppy someone just ran over."  
  
"I'm fine, Spike. I have to go see Giles." She got up and left, just like Xander. Spike looked after her, before growling lightly and heading out the door, closing it behind himself.

*CUT TO: Xander enters through his front door. Anya is watching some TV.*

She saw him enter and smiled widley. "Xander!" She jumped up and hugged him, "I missed you!"  
  
He smiled, "I missed you too, Ahn." He sighed imperceptably, "Let's go to bed, hon. I've got some, uh, tension I need relieved."  
  
Anya smiled widely, and began leading him to the bedroom. He couldn't help but steal a long look at the picture of Buffy on the wall. Interspersed between pictures of all their other friends, as well, but that didn't matter. He was stuck on her again. He just hoped it was simply a momentary thing. A night with Anya would clear his head, and he'd be the happy fiancé again. He clung to that hope like a life preserver, because otherwise, they were in for so much trouble.

*CUT TO: Spike's Crypt. Spike is watching Passions on tape, though his mind really isn't on the show.*

He tried his hardest to enjoy the show. He did tape it for a reason. He couldn't, however, keep his mind focused. Buffy had returned. She was back and more beautiful than ever. He wasn't sure how to function with this new factor thrown in the mix.  
  
He took a moment to get insanely angry at the Whelp and the Rat Pack. They more than likely had no idea what they'd done. What they'd probably unleashed. He grabbed the charm they'd insisted on placing in his crypt and threw it at the far wall, shattering it to pieces. It served them right. Buffy had been dead. More than likely, for all the good she'd done, she was in heaven. At least that's what he liked to think.  
  
He had the urge to run out and snap the neck of the Whelp, for what he'd seen in his eyes. The same hidden, uncondional love he'd probably be staring at in his own eyes if he'd had a reflection to look at. How dare he? Buffy had never shown any interest in him, why did he have to be ga-ga over her as well? It actually hurt him to think the boy had spent the past month with Buffy, time he wished he could have spent himself.  
  
He jumped back to the issue at hand. The redheaded witch probably knew the risks of pulling Buffy back from the afterlife, but simply chose to ignore them. She was getting callous and careless. It was going to end up getting them all killed. In his case, a second time. He'd have to have a talk with her about her recklessness sometime soon. Spike did a double-take, "Since when am *I* the voice of reason?"  
  
Spike shook his head, and his eyes visibly clouded over with white. He let out a little chuckle, "Well isn't this an interesting situation." His voice had no trace of an accent. It actually seemed quite jovial.  
  
He stretched out, glancing around the room, "It's been so long since I've been able to walk around. Feels nice." He caught sight of the television, "Oooo, Passions!" He watched for a few moments, before getting up and pulling on Spike's duster, "It's just too bad I'm on the clock, but I better be going!" He said to no one in particular.

*CUT TO: The Magic Box. Giles is relating how the musical demon was stopped.*

"So you're saying Xander summoned it?" Buffy was confused.  
  
"He found the incantation and ingredients here in the store. He said he hoped it would help him find his true feelings. Who they were meant for, by tapping into his subconscious." He tried to avoid answering her, "It appeared only to make things more complicated. He loves you, Buffy. That much is truly evident. But he feels duty bound to Anya, whom he also loves, because he'd made a promise with the engagement."  
  
She sighed, "And it has *nothing* to do with the fact he's scared she'll go demon again and liquify his insides?"  
  
Giles picked up on the bitterness in her voice, "It's more than likely a factor, yes... but he can hardly be blamed for not wanting to spark Anya's return to vengeance. He played a large part to her acclimating to life as a human again, he cares for her deeply." He paused for a moment, "Buffy, for the sake of argument... what are your feelings for Xander?"  
  
"My feelings? I..." She stopped and thought, "I like him. A lot. I think about him a little. Okay, a lot. I just don't know if I can say I love him... or if it's just me being needy."  
  
"It's good for you not to want to jump into things. Xander has just as much to sort out as you do." Giles stated softly.  
  
"Have *I* been summoning demons to try and solve my problems for me?" She grumbled.  
  
"He meant no harm in summoning it. He had the best of intentions. And it was merely incidental that, as the summoner, he was also the only one who could stop the demon. It was lucky he had chosen to confess it to me, or else things might have gotten out of hand."  
  
"Wait? He stopped the demon? How?"  
  
Giles looked at her strangely, "Well, he fairly effectively beheaded it with an axe. What does it matter?"  
  
She looked striken, "He told me *you* stopped it. Why would he lie to me about something like that?"  
  
Giles cleaned his glasses, "Well, Buffy, perhaps he didn't wish to evoke a reaction out of you that would make it even more difficult on him. He doesn't wish to take advantage of your current state, either. Much like with his expreience with that cursed love spell... he's showing much more maturity now than the first year I knew him."  
  
"I just don't know if I..."  
  
"Well, well, well. Isn't this a nifty little establishment?" Spike came walking in with his eyes clinched closed.  
  
"Spike, what are you doing here?" Buffy demanded with a bite.  
  
He opened his eyes to reveal stark white, "Oh, I think you know why I'm here, Ms. Summers." He remained where he was, looking over the "I just felt like stopping by, saying hello... maybe getting a little vengeance for my little girl."  
  
Giles and Buffy exchanged a look, before Buffy looked back at the possessed Spike, "Uh, little girl?"  
  
Spike slapped his hands together, and assumed a slightly amused look, "Now, don't tell me you don't remember me? We had such fun together, really. Was a pity you had to go out there and kill me."  
  
Buffy and Giles were getting a strange sense of deja vu as the way Spike was speaking became more and more familiar. Spike saw their realiziation rocketing towards them, "Not to stomp on your thought process, but he're a BIG clue!" He smirked with a disturbing serenity, "When I say my 'little girl'... well, I'm talking about no one else but my Faith!"  
  
Audible gasps could be heard from where he stood. He laughed lightly, "Now that gave you a jump start, now didn't it?" He smiled again, "I made a deal with a spirit to take a trip back here, and all I have to do to stay is to kill your pretty blonde head." He looked at the Watcher, "You're just a bonus."  
  
"How can this be?" Buffy looked at Giles, "We killed him! He turned all snake, and then we blew up the school. I know that happened, we've visited the smoking rubble many times. Tell me how this can be."  
  
"I... I honestly haven't a clue, Buffy... I'll have to research."  
  
"Ahem! I'm still here, remember? And I've got a job to do." He fluttered the edge of his duster, "Now, I realize in this body I can't kill you. For all this strength, he's got an annoying little chip in his head that keeps me from hurting anybody. Believe me, I tried several times on the way over. Just got to be too much of a pain. What I can do, however, is use my allotted time to scare the daylights out of you." He grinned.  
  
"Giles, can we get him out of Spike's body already? I can deal with a disembodied voice, just as long as I don't have to put up with seeing Spike talking like the Mayor."  
"Now now, missy. It's hardly polite to talk about someone when they're standing right here."  
  
"Will you please just shut up?!" Giles demanded in a tone Buffy rarely saw him use.  
  
Spike/Mayor laughed, "I'm afraid not, Rupert. Your friends have no idea what they've unleashed. This thing, it's bloodthirsty. It makes me look like a kindegarten teacher. And it's got one thing in mind. Destroying you and taking over this little planet by force. It just has to find the right body, and it's home free. It's out there. It's one of your friends, and you won't be able to kill them. I mean, can you really picture yourself killing them, knowing it's just something in their body? It's so deliciously evil."  
  
Buffy looked to Giles, who grabbed something off the counter and threw it to her. She stalked towards him, and immediately brandished her stake, "I might not be able to kill any of them, but I sure as hell can live with staking Spike."  
  
He looked slightly alarmed, preparing to backpedal, "The way this one cares for you, I'm highly surprised you'd be able to stake him so easy."  
  
She glared furiously, "Yeah, well the feeling isn't mutual." She swung the stake at him, but he managed to dodge. He backed up the steps, and was ready to make a break for it, when his body went limp and he crashed through a display table.  
  
Buffy ran over, picking him up by his collar and raising the stake. The eyes that opened during her upswing weren't blank white, and immediately filled with fear. He threw his hands up and bellowed, "Hold up, hold up! What the bloody hell is going on here?"  
  
Buffy didn't drive her stake down, but also didn't put it away, "You were possessed, Spike. I was just trying to save all our lives."  
  
He looked half-relieved, and half-frightened, "Well, alright then. I'm back, you can put away the stake now."  
  
Buffy didn't move, still pinning him down, "Maybe I should do the world a favor and get rid of you anyway, Spike."  
  
"Right, Slayer. Gonna stake a defenseless opponent?" He tried to break free.  
  
"Spike, if there's one thing you've proved time and time again... it's that you're *far* from defenseless." She reluctantly let him up, dropping the stake into the wreckage of a display table, "You just better hope you don't catch me in another mood like tonight. And don't get possessed again, or you're toast."  
  
He adjusted his collare for no reason, and made a hasty exit. Giles walked up behind her, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Perhaps you should go home and get some rest. Let things sink in a little."  
  
"Okay..." She started picking up her things, "You going to be alright here by yourself, Giles?"  
  
"Y-yes, yes. Explaining the table to Anya won't be very much fun, but at least that will wait until morning. I think I can get home just fine, Buffy."  
  
"Don't stay too late, okay? You need sleep just as much as anyone else."  
  
He smiled warmly at her concern, "I'll do that, Buffy, I promise." A goodbye hug was exchanged, and Buffy quietly left. Giles then began picking up the fallen items from the display table.


	7. And I Am Not

"And I Am Not"  
Sequel to "Out Of Character" 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; Flooded; All The Way; Once More, With Feeling; & Tabula Rasa

Summary: A continuation of "To Me", "Best Laid Plans", "Head Under Water", "Working Class Girl", "Tasty Little Morsel", and "Out Of Character" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Author's Note - Beta: The musical didn't happen. This is where things *really* start splitting off in continuity. I'll try to keep it as close to the show as I can, but with B/S happening in whatever form, it won't work for long. This episode was completed long before the episode ever aired. (Okay, Monday afternoon, but still, before the ep aired). I might touch it up a little with things that actually happen... but this is pure me here. Giles still rules. I also ignore the Buffy/Spike interactions. Especially those damned kisses. "The Buffy kiss you never thought you'd see." My ass. More like, "The Buffy kiss you wish you could unburn from your memory."

Author's Note - Alpha: Ahh, the advantage of writing an episode in advance. I do have to say, if it weren't for the ending, this episode would have actually been near perfect. Classic Joss wit and comedy. Anya and Giles had me rolling. Lord help me if I become an Anya/Giles 'shipper because of it. And the title of this episode is a lyric from a song that is connected to this story in some way. Bonus points to anyone who can guess it. It's contemporary.

*FADE TO: The Magic Box. Research party.*

"It was Mayor Wilkins. No mistaking it." Buffy declared.  
"How can that be? We... y'know... killed him!" Willow squeaked.  
"We're still not sure." Giles answered, his nose buried in a book.  
"Well... this possession thing seems to be... what's the word? Two-fold!" Xander looked around for approval, "So... is that Theumo... whatever the name was... does it have the ability to call up other spirits from the beyond?"  
Giles' head popped up, "It's what I'm in the middle of researching... from what I can tell, it has the ability to transfer spirits in that way... but it's only been known to pull spirits from this plane... spirits that are trapped on this side and have unfinished business..." He looked at his book again, "It shouldn't, however, be able to access other dimensions... even hell itself. It's highly illogical..."  
"Don't go all Spock on us, Giles... could something have altered its abilities?"  
Willow perked up, "Maybe it came in contact with something... that could contact other dimensions?"  
As Willow finished speaking, they all came to the same conclusions, "Dawn!"  
Giles threw his book down, "Of course... when it possessed Dawn... it... it must have absorbed some of her residual energy as the Key... with that it could have tapped in to any number of dimensions... including the one we consider hell." Giles frowned, "Of course this changes many things... no wonder our previous warding spells have been so woefully inadequate... and we must be extra cautious to prevent Dawn from being possessed again... if it has a chance to tap into her Key energies... there's no telling what it could be able to do."  
"Again?" Buffy frowned, jumping back in the conversation, "You never said anyone could get possessed twice!" Willow looked at her worriedly. She seemed so distracted as of late.  
Giles looked at her strangely, "Buffy, with any sort of spiritual possession, there is a strong probability that some may be possessed on multiple occasions... if a warding is not instituted... I thought I went over this with you once before..." He sighed, "I really do not have enough time to explain it fully..." He went over to a bookcase and rifled through a series of books. He found the one he was looking for. He handed it to Willow, giving her a warning look as he spoke, "This should be a strong enough general ward until we can find something more specific to this new set of circumstances." He looked at her pointedly, "I suggest that be all you use this book for."  
Tara, Willow, and Buffy left via the front door. Anya went back to running the register, and Xander prepared to leave, when Giles caught his attention, "Xander... I... could I have a moment with you?"  
"Sure, Giles... what can I do for you?"  
"I... the table..." He gestured with his eyes at the semi-cleaned up wreckage of display table that was sitting in the corner, "I was wondering if you could, perhaps, fix it. Anya demands that I do it, since I was here at the time it happened... I was wondering if I could ask in your assistance."  
He laughed, "Understood... and I can patch it up real quick... I'll just run home for my tools and then stop by the lumber yard to pick up some materials. I'll have her off your back in no time." He extended his hand to shake.  
Giles smiled warmly and accepted the handshake, "It is most appreciated, Xander."

*CUT TO: Willow and Tara's room. Willow is preparing a spell of some sort, involving the same flower as Tara's spell.*

Willow's quiet chanting wouldn't have alerted anyone to what she was doing, but to Tara's trained ears, she knew what she was up to. Not wanting to risk letting Willow complete what she was doing, she barged in, wearing a distinctly angry look on her usually calm face.  
"What are you doing, Willow?" She saw the flower Willow was using, and got angrier, "Are you going to erase my memory again?"  
Willow had the look of a deer in headlights, "No! Tara, I promised I'd never do anything like that to you again."  
Tara closed her eyes, "That's not what I asked you to promise, Willow. I wanted you to promise you'd never do anything like that to *anyone* again." She paused, opening her eyes and circling the red-head, "What are you going to do this time, Willow? Screw around with Anya and Xander's engagement?" She didn't know exactly where all this anger was coming from, but there was no way she was going to stop it, "I know! You can make Anya conveniently forget she's involved with him! Instead, you can make Anya and... Giles think they're together. That would just be a perfect way to get rid of her, wouldn't it? It's not fair to play with their heads, Willow, to make them forget."  
Neither of them noticed the flower flash briefly. Willow replied with desperating, "That wasn't what I was going to do, Tara! I don't want to do anything to them." She was near tears, "Buffy has been so distracted... so out of it since she came back... I wanted to make her forget what she went through in that hell dimension... make it so she wouldn't have her emotions bottlenecked! I want her to be happy again!" The flower flashed again.  
Tara almost looked disgusted, "And that makes it right? You don't have a clue about what really has her so distracted lately, do you? Have you even asked her? You're her friend, and you're supposed to find out what's bothering her before you go trying to fix it. That's the least you can do, Willow."  
Willow cried out, "But I can make her better!"  
Tara sighed, starting to leave. Before she exited through the door, she turned back and gave Willow a sorrowful look, "Just because you can, Willow, doesn't mean you should." With that, she was gone. Willow sighed deeply, the tears beginning to flow freely now.  
She got up and simply left the materials where they were. She flopped down on her bed and began bawling her eyes out at the situation she'd gotten herself in.

*CUT TO: The Magic Box, moments later. Anya and Giles are doing an inventory.*

"...So I believe it's in the best interest of us all if I return to England. Buffy may never take on all the responsibilities she needs to if I'm here to take care of them for her. I'm just standing in the way." He paused momentarily, looking at her, "For now, Anya, you musn't breath a word of this to anyone. I wish to tell them all myself." He realized afterwards how unlikely it was Anya could keep the secret. She was embarrassingly blatant about secret information.  
"Well, I guess that's understandable..." Before she could continue, both their eyes flashed momentarily golden. As it faded from their eyes, their faces changed dramatically, and Anya breathed out desperately, "Don't leave me!"  
Giles' face softened, and he replied, "Oh, Anya..." Seconds laterly, he spun her around, dipping her gently, and crushed his lips against hers. He manuevered her towards the table, where he laid her down and continued their furious make-out session.  
The front door opened, and Xander loudly entered, carrying a few pieces of lumber and sporting a tool-belt. He couldn't see them on the table from where he came in, and went about his business, "It really shouldn't be any trouble to fix this table... I mean, wood is wood, right?" He walked around to try to see where they were, and the lumbr went crashing to the floor.  
All these disturbances didn't seem to catch their attention. They were rounding second and quickly heading for third. Unfortunately, Xander was there to stop the play, "What the HELL is going on?"  
Giles finally sprang off Anya, and tried to collect himself, "I... sorry, I know we said we would get a handle on such things..."  
Xander was still in a state of shock, so he numbly repeated, "What the HELL is going on?"  
Anya looked decidedly off-put, "Xander, do you *mind*? I'm trying to get some sex."  
"Some... sex? From... Giles?" His mind was racing. He still didn't have the answers he was hoping for, so he repeated, "What the HELL is going on?"  
Anya took a condescending tone, "Well, you see, Xander... when a man and a woman are involved, they sometimes tend to want to have sex.... anywhere and everywhere... so if you could just run along, Giles and I will get to it..." She looked at the table appreciatevly, "Right here."  
"Involved? You two are... Anya, you're cheating on me?" He missed the confused looks on both their faces, "Y'know what... I don't even want to... The wedding is off. Hell, it might not even have been on if this has been going on for long... Anya, maybe you can try and explain this to me when I'm calmer, maybe we can work something out... but right now, I don't want to see you."  
He turned around and left, still not noticing the looks of utter stupification on Anya and Giles' faces. Giles walked a little way towards the front, so he could see out the front door, "What the bloody hell was he talking about?"

*CUT TO: The Summer's House. Buffy is casually cleaning the house.*

Willow came moping down the stairs, her feet shuffling as she made her way to the kitchen. Buffy watched her cautiously, waiting until she'd come back out before speaking up, "Are you okay, Wills? Is something bothering you?"  
Willow half-ignored her, "No, I'm fine." She was about as convincing as Spike saying he never looted anything during the biker gang's rampage.  
Buffy wasn't going to let up so easily, "Willow, it's painted all over you. Did you have a fight with Tara? Is that why she went stomping out earlier?"  
Willow gave her a vaguely threatening look, "No. I'm just... feeling under the weather, and she ran out to get me some medicine, okay?"  
Buffy didn't believe her, "Are you sure, Wills? Cause if you need to talk, you know I..."  
"No! Would you just get off my back?" She ran up the stairs with the food she'd retrieved from the kitchen and slammed her door behind her.  
Buffy was about to follow her up, when a loud knock came at the door. She walked over, and opened it, to reveal a smoking Spike with a blanket draped over his head. He looked at her pleadingly, and she had to fight the urge to grab the blanket and kick him back out, before stepping out of the way and cautiously letting him in.  
He walked in with a wide stride, stopping in the entryway just before entering the living room. He turned his head and looked at her again with that 'do what I want already' look. She reluctantly marched into the living room and closed the shades, before demanding, "What do are you doing, Spike? Or should I ask, what do you *want,* Spike?"  
"I'm hurt by that, Slayer. You make it sound like I only come around because I want somethin' from you."  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Maybe that's because you do?"  
"Whatever... I just came... to see the Nibblet. She around?"  
Buffy stood there impatiently, hand on hips, "You know full-well she's in school right now, Spike. Just get to what you want already. I *was* in the middle of cleaning house."  
Spike nearly let his anger fly, annoyed at her prejudice towards him. He couldn't do it, however, simply because it was her. "What I want, then? Fine. You. I want you, Buffy. To be with you. You can't deny the chemistry we have together. It's the perfect combination, really. A Vampire and a Slayer. We were made to defy the rules together. Don't you want to be bad, in a good way?"  
She sighed, "This again? You want to be with me, Spike? I can't begin to describe just how much that idea disturbs me. Chemistry? The only chemistry I want between us is finding out what chemicals burn you the fastest. It's *not* the perfect combination... in case your brain is malfunctioning, I've tried it before. No words for just how much that did *not* work."  
He was about to protest, when she held up a hand to silence him, "This is it, Spike. My absolute final words on the subject. I don't love you. I can't love you. I will *never* love you, Spike." She paused, letting her eyes close. She felt an unbelievable release inside her, as something became clear to her. A smile came to her face and, for once, Spike didn't like it. She spoke with closed eyes, "Because I love with someone else."  
Spike let out a sigh. It was always him, wasn't it? The bastard that had taken her heart so long ago, and just wouldn't let it go. He felt like making a trip to L.A. to visit his grand-daddy, "Angel?"  
Her smile grew infinitely as she was able to shake her head, "No." She marched into the entryway, grabbing her purse off the table, "I'm leaving, Spike. You better not be here when I come back. Don't eat all the Triscuts, or I'll break your arms off."

*CUT TO: Xander's apartment. Xander is laid out on the couch, his hands covering his face. He's softly sobbing.*

The engagement band Anya had made him wear was laying on the table. Xander honestly felt he had no use for it now. He'd throw it in the trash later, but for now, he was stifling the desire to play country music as loud as he could stand. The girl he loved, one of them anyway, had been cheating right in front of him... and acted as if nothing was wrong, like it was something natural.  
And Giles. How the hell had that happened? Giles and Anya were at odds on almost every topic you could mention. They grated on each other's nerves. They hated each other, from all outward appearances. It hit him then that the situation was familiar. Who else did he know that had been 'mortal' enemies forever before an ilicit affair sprang up? He could say without a doubt that one participant was in the room with him right now.  
He supposed, if he looked at it with a more level head, it'd make perfect sense. And for all he knew, he might take his own experiences to heart and forgive Anya. He was the reason she'd come to Sunnydale in the first place, anyway. He'd been looking forward to his life with Anya. It was the getting there that frightened him.  
He was knocked out of his thoughtful moment by a knocking on the door. He figured it might be Tara. She'd left only a little while before, having come over in a fit much like his own. He'd helped her calm down, putting up his brave front and hadn't let his own troubles slip out. He wanted to be there for Tara, not to dump his mistakes on her. There would be time for that later.  
He got to the door, making sure his eyes were dry and he wasn't disheveled, and swung the door open. "Didn't expect you back so soon..."  
It wasn't, however, who he thought it would be. Buffy stared at him with a beaming smile that he couldn't help but return. She poked him jokingly, "It's always hard to resist that Harris charm... Xand, I've got something to tell you."  
He nodded. He felt like he was about to burst, and Buffy would probably be the best person to come out to about it, "Okay, Buffy, I do too. Anya and..."  
She grabbed his hand and pulled him further into the room, "No, Xander, I'm going first. If I don't, I might lose my nerve and I can't keep this inside. This is way too good to keep bottled up." He made no further attempts to resist, so she continued. She stood in front of him, grabbing both of his hands and looking up into his chocolate brown eyes, "I was arguing with Spike today... he was asking me to date him... Give me a moment to shudder." She focused deep in his eyes, trying to convey the truth of her words through her own, "I said I couldn't love him. Because I already love someone."  
"Angel?" Xander said reflexively.  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Why does everyone keep saying that?" She tightened her grip on his hands, "Xander, I love you."  
He almost had to bring his hands up to keep his eyes from popping out of their sockets. Six years he'd waited to hear those words from her. She'd died twice in the course of that time, and they'd saved the world more than most people could handle understanding. He'd done many things and saved many lives. But he could honestly, without a doubt, say that today was the greatest day of his life. Well, if you neglect to mention the whole failure of his engagement thing.  
That reminded him. He couldn't let himself get *too* happy at Buffy's words. He had to relate it to her, "Buffy, don't think I'm not thrilled to hear that from you. I can't explain how much my brain wants to explode because the improbable has happened today. But that's the point... today was a big day."  
She could see the pain bubbling just beneath the surface, "Xand, what's wrong?"  
He sighed deeply, "Anya and I's engagement is off." He had to withhold some of his emotions when he saw a flitter of hope pass along with the sympathy in her eyes.  
"What happened?"  
He had to bring a hand up to his eyes to pinch the bridge of his nose, an effective way of heading off any tears that threatened to fall. She saw this strategy, and forced his hand back down into her own, holding tight so he couldn't stop them. As they fell, he let out a ragged laughed, "I was at the shop today... fixing the table you trashed when trying to take out the Mayor-possessed Spike... I, uh, walked in... and found Anya making out... hell, damned near having intercourse on the research table..."  
Buffy nearly screamed, pulling him into a hug, "Oh my god... with who?"  
He tried to avoid her eyes, "This is where it gets weird... it was Giles."  
"Giles? But... he and Anya... they hate each other!" Buffy cried.  
"Exactly my thoughts...." He paused, taking in a ragged breath, "But remember me and Cordelia?"  
Buffy made a face, "Unfortunately." She pulled back and looked in his eyes again. The pain was lessened by his admission, that she could see. He wasn't as mopey looking as before. She decided to do something very risky, at least in her estimation.  
She grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down into a kiss he had not been expecting. Not expecting, and not liking were two completely different things in his book. He responded to the kiss with a passion he hadn't felt for years. The kiss lasted what seemed like forever, and when it broke they simply stared into each other's eyes for another eternity.  
It was fine, until Buffy saw the hint of regret floating in the deep brown pools. She immediately panicked, "Oh god... oh god... I shouldn't have done that... You're vulnerable, and you haven't even said you wanted to be with me... and I only just discovered how I felt... and... oh god..."  
"Buffy..." She continued rambling, "Buffy!" Her head jerked upwards, "Calm down, okay?"  
"Have I screwed everything up? I shouldn't have kissed you..."  
He stopped her from going off on another tangent, "No, Buffy, you haven't screwed everything up... It was pretty much all jumbled up on it's own, y'know? I do, however, have to agree that you shouldn't have kissed me. I want to wait until I've got things with Anya sorted out comepletely before *we* happen, y'know? I at least want to offer Anya the chance Cordy didn't give me... because I still *love* her. She deserves a chance to explain herself. If she screws up that opportunity, well then she's out of luck." Buffy looked a little deflated, and he knew just what to say, "I love you, Buffy. I just need time."  
She nodded solemnly, though not as bad as she'd been moments before. Xander still loved her, and now she loved him. Things would work themselves out, wouldn't they? True love always won out.  
She changed the subject slightly, hugging him tightly, "What was with your greeting at the door?"  
He appreciated the change, "Tara left about 10 minutes before you got here. She came over to talk because she and Willow had a major fight. She wouldn't tell me about the specifics, though. Just that she's worried Willow is going too far with her magic."  
Buffy looked slightly angered. He was going to ask what he'd said, when Buffy spoke instead, "I knew it! I asked her if they'd had a fight and she told me no. I wanted her to open up to me, to start rebuilding our friendship... but she just brushed me off and went to her room. I agree with Tara, though... Willow tried to use magic to microwave our breakfast this morning instead of walking over to the *actual* microwave and punching a few buttons."  
He nodded, "I think we're going to have our own respective conversations with her about it... don't want to both go at once and frighten her with an intervention."  
She let go of him for the first time since she'd gotten there, "What do you feel like doing now?"  
"I dunno... maybe rent movies, eat ice cream, chit chat and such... y'know, the stuff I was known best for back in high school." He smiled briefly before heading to the fridge, "Should get a start on it too... you've got patrol later."  
"I was kind of hoping not to have to do that, but Slayage is unavoidable."  
He nodded, "Now, who's gonna go get the movies? I think Tara might be stopping back to spend the night here... so someone should be here if she shows up."  
Buffy smirked as she flopped down on the couch, "I do believe it's your gentlemanly duty to go fetch the movies."  
He laughed, glad to have his mind off 'things,' as he took a bow, "Of course, m'lady. I'll be back in a few."

*CUT TO: The Magic Box, the next day. Buffy and Xander are researching at the table with Willow, while Anya and Giles are huddled by the register.*

Xander wasn't quite sure how he'd managed not to dash across the room and beat the crap out of Giles. He and Anya were all but groping behind the register. Perhaps it was the comforting hand Buffy had placed on his knee under the table. Yeah, that had to be about it.  
Willow was nervously flipping through a book, not really paying attention to the contents. She obviously had other things on her mind. Buffy and Xander watched her intently, hoping she'd crack and admit something was wrong. Unfortunately, she was sealed tighter than a submarine hatch on the subject.  
Buffy squeezed his knee with her hand, and they exchanged a silent smile. All she had to do was look at him, and Xander could tell the honesty of her words. She loved him. It was a wonder none of the rest of the gang (aside from Tara) saw it.  
Speaking of Tara, Xander caught sight of her walking past the window of the shop. She stopped outside the door upon seeing Willow there, but after a minutes hesitation, she entered the shop. She held her eyes closed tightly as she blindly made her away across the room, garnering everyone's attention, before plopping down on the stairs in a huff.  
She looked up, her eyes still clenched tightly shut. There was a strange look on her face. She seemed deliberately cocky. Add in the blank, white eyes that were revealed as she opened the lids, and they knew they were in trouble.  
They were all startled from their seats, into a position near the register, as she grinned, filled with the same cocky attitude, "Well, well... look where I ended up." She pulled up her right hand and flexed it inexplicably, "Looks like Blondie's hand works fine now." She looked at Willow with a gleam in her eye, "Suppose you'd have the most experience with it."  
Willow flushed, and shuddered, before Xander pulled her back to stand with Buffy. He stood in place, and asked a question he didn't really need an answer to, "So, who are you this time?"  
"And I thought *you* were the smart one..." She rolled her eyes, "I have to thank you guys. You helped me get home," She walked over to a bookshelf and ran her finger along some of the bindings, "Course, it wasn't the way I wanted. Being dead kind of sucks out all the enjoyment one can have in a hell dimension."  
"Glory?" Willow gasped.  
"On the nose, Red." She continued grinning, "Your little demon friend decided I needed a little... closure. So I'm here to do just that." She looked at Buffy, "Where's the little sister?"  
Buffy tensed and stepped forward, but Xander caught her arm. She looked surprised, but his eyes told her everything, "It's Tara."  
"And that's what I love the most about this. I've got all my power, and you can't do a thing to me. Not if you want your little blonde witch to be okay. No magic hammer pounding for me today." She shrugged, "I think I'll do a little pounding myself." She stepped towards Buffy, to which Xander responded by jumping in front of her. Just as quickly, he went flying from a lightning quick backhand. He landed on the research table, scattering books and papers, before rolling off onto the floor.  
Tara/Glory was instantly on the Slayer, and they began trading blows. Unfortunately, the battle wasn't going in Buffy's favor, because she had to pull her punches so as not to permanently harm Tara.  
Willow looked horrified as it went on, managing to delcare, "Buffy, remember they only have a short time to do their thing... please, just hold her off until it runs out!"  
Buffy didn't even stop fighting as Willow spoke. She knew the drill by now. The possession deal was getting really old, really fast. She glared at Tara/Glory with extreme annoyance, "Are you ever going to get tired of possessing my friends?"  
"Not likely. He says it's fun with all the stuff he learns about them. Dirty little secrets." She caught Buffy with a roundhouse kick that sent her spinning into a nearby display case. Several items fell on top of her before the case, too, fell on her. Tara/Glory put her hands on her hips, looking satisfied, "Besides, this one has her own power. Makes me feel even stronger." To accentuate her point, she quickly grabbed a book and threw it up in the air. It began levitating in mid-air, before darting off and narrowly missing Giles and Anya.  
Everyone was on the ground now, save for Willow. Tara/Glory marched up to her, getting in her face, and growled, "I've got a bone to pick with you, girlie. Last time I saw you, you shoved your hand in my head and stole a bunch of lovely energy. I want it back, and I'm more than willing to do it the hard way." She brought her hand up in a flash, and delivered a blow to the red-head's temple. She slumped back against the counter. Tara/Glory sidled up to her, and started to bring her hands to Willow's head...  
When a phwap noise and a pin-prick distracted her. She looked to the direction it came from, to see a platinum-blonde, leather bound annoyance aiming a rifle-device at her. "What are you gonna do, Spork? Shoooot me?" She looked down at the dart protruding from her shoulder.  
Spike simply smirked, "Already have, luv." Glory glared furiously at him, as she sank to the floor. She was unconscious by the time she hit the hardwood.  
Willow was only spared by Giles' arms deftly catching her, saving her from a long fall to the floor. Anya ran around and helped slide her to the ground, as Buffy pushed the case off of herself and got back to her feet. She dusted herself off and looked at the fallen Tara, "Y'know these threats that aren't threats are getting really annoying."  
Her head snapped up and she ran over to the other side of the research table, "Xander! Are you okay?"  
Everyone in the room was stunned by the emotion in her voice. It was intense to say the least. Xander nodded his head weakly as Buffy helped him to his feet, "I think we need to invest in possession insurance... think State Farm covers it?"

*CUT TO: Willow in her & Tara's room. First-person perspective, she's looking in a the mirror and brushing her hair.*

Willow couldn't believe the past couple of days they'd had. The shop was a mess again. The biggest mess, however, was her relationship. Tara thought she was becoming too reliant on magic. How could that be? Magic just made their lives easier. She could do things now that she didn't even dream of three years ago. They just didn't understand how good it could be.  
What they did understand, however, was the problems her and Tara had been having. Because Tara had gone and told someone... she didn't know who yet. Whoever she told, had told others, and now it was almost public knowledge. If she only had time to fix the problems, there wouldn't have been a need to tell the others about it.  
She could buy back that time if she simply could make those who knew not remember. If they didn't know there was anything to tell, they couldn't tell could they? She didn't see any harm in it. She just needed it until she fixed things with Tara, and then it wouldn't be an issue anyway.  
The problem was figuring out who knew. Asking them was out of the question... it would reveal her hand, and they might try to stop her. She picked up a handful of something off the desk. She knew the answer. Holding up six of the flowers she'd used on Tara. If she couldn't pinpoint who knew, she'd simply clear the field. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Giles, Anya, and finally Tara. She'd simply blank these past two days from their minds, and she'd be able to get to work on *really* fixing things.  
She brought the flowers up into her line of sight, and spoke, "Forget." The flowers each flashed in series. With those whispered words, she did untold damage to the lives of those around her.


	8. Stiff Upper Lip

"Stiff Upper Lip"  
Sequel to And I Am Not 

Spoilers: Bargaining Parts 1 & 2; Afterlife; Flooded; All The Way; Once More, With Feeling; Tabula Rasa; & Smashed (and possibly Wrecked)

Summary: A continuation of "To Me", "Best Laid Plans", "Head Under Water", "Working Class Girl", "Tasty Little Morsel", "Out Of Character", and "And I Am Not" Ongoing, week-by-week rewrite of Season 6. My own twisted little universe. :)

Author's Note: The musical didn't happen. This is where things *really* start splitting off in continuity. I'm a little late on getting this out, just had personal issues to deal with.

Author's Note 2: Stating this right away, for any B/S 'shippers who stumbled into this fic. Well, if you've made it this far, I must suck at writing. This piece is B/X. I am a B/Xer. I state, wholeheartedly, that I do not like the idea of Buffy and Spike doing the deed together. However, I'm a tolerant person. I'm not going to go here and beat up the current characterization of Spike on the series. Nor am I going to take pot-shots at what Buffy has turned into. I simply don't like what's going on on the show, that's all. But it is what's happening on the show, and cannot be changed. I'm blathering on here a little, but all I'm trying to say is we need to practice tolerance. If you're a B/Xer, don't trash B/Sers(or any shippers for that matter). And if you're a B/Ser, and someone says they're something else or that they just don't like B/S, don't flame. This world needs a HELL of a lot more peace and tolerance, we all need to accept that people are different. Or else, we're all pretty much doomed. Harmony, people, and I'm not talking Spike's ex. I now return you to your regular fic reading.

*FADE TO: The Mall. Buffy and Dawn are window shopping.*

"Ooo, that would look cute on me!" Dawn exclaimed, pointing towards a flashy dress.  
Buffy saw it, and it's pricetag, and rolled her eyes, "So would a toga, and it's a lot cheaper. I mean, hey, wrapped in a bedsheet. The 'in' fashion, I'm predicting."  
Dawn put her hands on her hips, "Come on, Buffy. I see how expensive it is. I know we've got money troubles, but..."  
"We don't." Buffy said quietly.  
"We don't what?"  
"Have money problems. Not anymore."  
"Buffy, you're not being delusional, are you? I saw the bills myself."  
Buffy brought Dawn over to a nearby bench, "I got some help, Dawn. The bills have been paid off."  
Dawn smiled, "Oh!" Her smiled turned into a frown, "Oh... you got help? What kind of help? You didn't take Anya's idea about charging for slaying, did you?"  
Buffy laughed, "No, Dawn, I'm of the sane." She paused, "Xander helped me out. He gave me the money."  
Dawn was speechless, "Gave?"  
Buffy nodded, "Yep, gave. He said he and Anya were making enough money now, they could part with enough to keep us in a house."  
Dawn continued to be monosyllabic, "Wow."  
"Pretty much my reaction, too." She gave her sister a big hug, "So... we're okay. Thanks to Xander." She smiled faintly.  
Dawn looked at her, and came to a realization, "You're got fluffy feelings for Xander, don't you?"  
Buffy looked terrified, "I... no... I..."  
Dawn grabbed her sister's hand to calm her, "It's okay, Buffy... Anya probably wouldn't like that idea very much... but I'm cool with it. Remember my huge crush on him? Completely understanding here." She laughed, "Just kind of wondering what took you so long."  
Buffy frowned, "I guess I had to die twice to find out how great he was... he was there afterwards both times..."  
Dawn smirked, "I knew he was great right away, and I didn't even have to die at all."  
Buffy glared at her mockingly, "So, to recap... we're okay, and we don't exactly have to do *only* window shopping. We just can't go crazy with it. Xander is a god to us now."  
Dawn smiled, "Again, known that for a long time."  
"You're just begging me to close the wallet, aren't you?"  
"I'm doing no such thing. Just hitting the "it's about time" button over and over."  
Buffy shook her head and pulled her sister up, "Let's go."

*CUT TO: The Magic Box. The gang is gathered for an announcement by Giles.*

"So, G-Man... what's the what?" Xander queried.  
"I... I need just a moment longer, Xander."  
He emerged moments later carrying a medium-sized, closed box. He placed it carefully on the research desk, immediately smacking Xander's hand as he tried to open it.  
"What's with the present, Giles?" Buffy asked.  
He stuttered a little, "I-its not exactly a present... in the strictest sense, Buffy." He sighed, "I supposed I should get straight to it, right?"  
"Straight to what?" Willow squeaked mousily.  
"The point." Giles replied grimly, "I believe it would be to our advantage for me to go to England in search of a solution to this problem. I have many more contacts there than here in the States, and many of them need me to show up in person. So I've brought you all here to tell you what I plan to do."  
"You're going to England to look for clues? Cool, that's a great idea, Giles." Willow cheered.  
"Yes, it is..." He looked down towards the box.  
Tara picked up on his discomfort, "T-that's not all, is it?"  
"No, Tara, that isn't all. I'll be going to England for my contacts, but..." He paused dramatically, "I won't be coming back."  
"What?" The group chorused.  
He looked slightly annoyed, "I thought I made it pretty clear there. I'm going back to England, for good."  
Buffy jumped up, "Giles! You can't, I need you! You can't just leave."  
He sighed, and pulled her to him in a hug, "Buffy, I can't go back and forth to England forever... it's incredibly expensive, and it's not fair to you or me. As much as I love you, Buffy... as much as I love you all... You're all grown up, and all my presence here does is stand in the way of you becoming adults. My going is the best thing I can do for you all."  
"But... but... Giles! Don't leave me!" Anya jumped up and wrapped herself around him. After a few moments, Xander stood up and peeled her off him. She looked around, semi-confused, "I... I don't know where that came from."  
Everyone proceeded to quickly ignore her outburst, and Xander spoke up, "Giles, I agree with your reasoning. There's a time when every parent needs to let go... but, I don't agree with your method. What happens if we encounter something really big? Something that your expertise would be helpful with?"  
Giles smiled faintly, "I'll only be a phone call away, from any of you. I simply need to do what I need to do." He halted further conversation on the issue, and moved to open his box. First he pulled out a small, intricately designed dagger. Looking to Anya, he handed it to her, "I believe you'll recognize the language inscribed on it... since you were likely around when it was in use... It is a series of words meant to instill financial stability and growth."  
Anya looked at the gift with astoundment. Not waiting for a response, he moved on to Dawn. A small pendant was her gift. She looked at it gratefully, "What's this represent?"  
He laughed, "Nothing, actually, I just thought it was beautiful and that you'd like it." Dawn smiled in reply, and Giles moved on.  
He stepped to Xander next, pulling out a wicked-looking, albeit short battle axe. Xander made a grab for it, but Giles held him off, "I know that sometimes, nerves were assaulted often between the two of us..." A small laugh was exchanged, "But never let that cloud your judgement so much that you think that I don't love you, like a son I never had the privelege to have. I certainly hope this weapon will aide you in protecting all that you hold dear, just like I trust you to do." He held the axe at an awkward angle, in order to display a small button in the handle of the weapon. Upon pressing it, the axe extended approximately another foot and a half in length, making it look adequately devastating. He pushed the button again, retracting the axe and offered it to the young man.  
Much to his surprise, Xander stood up and pulled the man into a crushing hug. Tears could be seen in Xander's eyes, a rarity which Giles knew the immensity of, and caused Giles to pause a moment as Xander took the weapon from him. Xander hoarsely let out, "Thanks, Rupert." Another laugh was exchanged.  
Giles continued giving gifts to his charges, his ability to withold his dire need to cry weakening with each one. When he was finished, they'd each had an item from him... including Spike, who Giles had jokingly given a stake to drop himself on. Spike had exited the shop shortly afterwards, not much one for a joke, apparently.  
They all bid farewell for the night, promising be there when his flight left in a few days. All except for Spike, of course. Unless he wanted to become food for a dustbuster. Xander had to stifle his encouragement of that plan.

*CUT TO: The Summers' front porch. Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Tara are sitting around moping.*

"This isn't fair." Buffy grouched.  
"Just as unfair as the other ten times you've said it, I know, Buff." Xander smirked. She gave him a sour face.  
"How can he just abandon us?" Willow demanded.  
"He's not abandoning us, Willow." Tara softly replied.  
Xander jumped on the bandwagon, "Tara is right, you two. Giles is just doing what anying loving parent has to do... there's a time when you have to just let your kids go. That's what we are to him, his children. His big, dysfunctional children."  
Buffy frowned, the point striking home, "I've already lost one parent, Xander. My mother." The comment came out bitingly, causing Xander to flinch, "I don't want to... *can't* lose another one. I need Giles. We *all* need Giles."  
Xander sighed, giving Buffy a side-hug. "Giles is a person, too, Buffy. With thoughts, and feelings, and wants... when was the last time we saw Giles do something he wanted to? I mean, *really* wanted to." Tara intoned wisely.  
They were all speechless for a few minutes, before Willow whispered, "Olivia."  
Xander chuckled slightly, "And that presents an interesting visual. Tara is right again. We've basically been running Giles' life since Buffy parted with the council. He has the right to live and love, like any of us. He hasn't spoken to Olivia since your Freshman year. Other than her, the only thing he had was us. And we were basically living vicariously through his every waking moment."  
"We took over control of his life? He... he didn't seem to mind." Buffy responded feebly.  
"Buffy, he's British." Willow pointed out, starting to understand where her two friends were coming from.  
Buffy sighed, "Right... Stiff upper lip and all that other stuffy crap. Just... I love him. He's the closest thing to a father I've had for a long time, and I don't want to lose him. I don't know if I can make it on my own."  
"Don't you see, Buffy? Giles wouldn't leave if he didn't have the utmost faith in your abilities. He knows you can do it, because you *aren't* alone. We're here to help you, just like you're here to help us. I'm getting married, you think I'm not already recruiting you for decorating and other stuff I'm too much of a guy to handle?"  
A slight chuckle passed around them, one that was not shared by Buffy. The subject was quickly changed, "So... what are you all getting me for Christmas?"  
This time they all laughed, "You've got a one track mind, don't you Xander?" Buffy joked.  
He smiled mockingly, "Me, me, me."  
Buffy smiled, before asking, "Wills, any leads on how to get rid of our... uh, Thermo-genesis, or whatever?"  
Willow reluctantly shook her head, "There isn't much information about *how* it brings spirits from this plane into the person... or how to get them back out safely. I'm kind of hoping Giles' sources have more information for me to use."  
Buffy sighed and nodded, "I suppose it's time for me to do patrol... anyone want to help me wander around in hopes of running into and staking Spike?"  
Xander threw his hand up, "Ooo, ooo! Me, me!" His shoulders suddenly slumped, "Aww, I can't, though... Anya and I are going out to dinner." He got up and collected his things, "But bring me a bag of ashes if you get lucky, please?"  
After he left, Buffy looked to Willow and Tara. Tara was the first to speak, "I-I will, if you want. I haven't been on patrol since you first c-came back. It might be fun." She looked to Willow, who she could see looked worried, "I-if it's all right with you, sweetie."  
Willow realized she'd had a worried look, and shook her head, "No, no, you can go... just try to be careful?"  
Tara smiled, "Always." With that, they left and Willow went back inside.  
She walked up the stairs quietly, hoping to avoid waking Dawn. She went into her and Tara's room, and shifted a bookcase out of the way. She quietly whispered, "Revele!" The wall behind the bookcase warped, until it revealed a small door with a combination lock. Apparently a safe Joyce Summers had built into the wall to keep things safe.  
Willow didn't even bother with the combination, whispering more words to do it for her. The door swung open, to reveal a few of Joyce's remaining possessions, as well as some thick books. Willow pulled out the books, closing the safe again, and pulled herself back against the bed to read. Instead of turning on the lights, she conjured a small floating light nearby to aid her task.

*CUT TO: Indescript sidewalk, simultaneous. Xander is walking home from Buffy's house.*

Xander kept up a quick pace, hoping to make it home before Anya had a fit. He was startled when he heard a twig snap behind him. He spun around quickly, pulling a stake out of his jacket pocket. He was surprised to see no one there when he turned around. He focused his ears to hear the approach of any adversary, before replacing the stake in his jacket and turning around to continue home.  
He managed to barrell right into an unhappy looking Spike. Xander was both amused and annoyed at the vampire's presence, "Watch it, Spike, you could have had an accident there."  
Spike gave no response, just continued glaring menacingly. It didn't have it's desired effect, however, as Xander knew Spike had no way to follow through. Instead, Xander used his shoulder to knock Spike out of the way, before continuing his journey.  
Much to his dismay, Spike started to follow him. He didn't let it bother him at first, as Spike was only good as a stalker against humans now. It wasn't until Spike started talking that he started letting it get to him.  
"You think you can just take her?" Spike put out vaguely.  
Mistaking the identity of who he was talking about, Xander retorted, "That kinda comes with the deal, Spike."  
"The wench loves you. It isn't bloody fair." He whined.  
Xander half-turned around, "And you're just complaining about it now? Shouldn't you have voiced your... concerns or whatever the hell you'd call this... *before* the engagement? And don't call her a wench, or I'll hurt you."  
Spike was confused for a moment, before realization hit, and a demented grin spread over his face, "She didn't tell you? Hah." He stopped and contemplated further, "Musta been someone else then."  
While Spike lowered his head to think, Xander stalked over to him. He grabbed the vampire by his lapels, hoisting him around roughly, and demanded, "What the hell are you talking about, Spike?"  
Spike just kept grinning, "Wouldn't you like to know, mate?"  
He threw the vamp away from him in disgust, "It was the point of asking. Nevermind, you're a crazy vampire anyway, what should I trust about what you say?" He walked away calmly.  
Spike stood confidently, "I'll find the bloke she loves, mate. I'll kill him, and then I'll kill you."  
Xander just rolled his eyes, "Promises, promises."

*CUT TO: Sunnydale International Airport, afternoon. The gang, sans Spike, has collected to wish Giles off.*

They were all unsure of just what to say. They'd all done this before, well except for Buffy, and it was just as hard the second time around.  
"Giles, I hope you won't mind if I come over there sometime to raid your fridge... never really thought about it, but I want to see what you stock when you're *really* home." Xander said for a laugh.  
Giles did laugh, and gave him a hug, before whispering in his ear, "I wish you the best of luck in finding the path that is right for you."  
Xander smiled, "Thank you."  
Anya gave him an oddly long hug, and a quick peck on the lips, before blinking, "I really don't know where that came from."  
Dawn gave Giles a bear hug befitting a departing father, and thanked him again for his present.  
Willow and Tara gave him simultaneous hugs, and wished him the best.  
It was finally down to Buffy. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked about to lose it again, "I'm not gonna lie, Giles. I want to kick your ass right now. But I want you to be happy, and I'll get over it... just, like Xander said, you have to promise to let us visit whenever we want... I love you, Giles." She pounced on him with a hug.  
Barely able to breath, he managed, "I love you too, Buffy. I love all of you, and will not soon forget the things we've shared. And yes, you have permission to visit me anytime you want, so long as you don't show up on my door with Spike." They all laughed briefly. Giles' flight number was called, and he regretfully had to go, "Buffy, I will call you when I arrive, and I'll let you know any information as soon as I get it. No, you all have to promise not to forget me..." He had attempted it as a joke, but saw immediately it had the wrong effect. They all began crying in unity, a sight he never thought he'd see. One last group hug, interspersed with a chorus of "we'll never forget you"  
Giles wandered off with his bags down the hall leading to the plane. They continued crying, all staring out a nearby window, until well after Giles' plane had taken off. They offered each other as much consolation as they could as they walked away to go home, but there was a definite hole in their lives now.


End file.
